Monday, January 10, 2005

Cigarette company semantics

The Canadian government is trying to stop cigarette companies from using the words 'Lite' (light) and 'Mild' on their packaging, believing that these words have been deceiving the smoking public. (poor gullible smokers) Here are some definitions to help people decipher these words properly.

Lite - Cigarette company spin definition = Airy and fresh, you can smoke lots of these without harm, as a matter of fact, they're almost good for you. Why not light up right now?

Lite - Reality definition = The cancer you get from these smokes will not weigh much in your blackened lungs so you'll be able to walk around and push one of those oxygen tanks with you. Your voice might be funny though, being battery operated.

Mild - Cigarette company spin definition = Like a lovely early autumn day. Easy to puff, perfect for you young teenaged girls, you look so cool when you smoke. Why not give one to your little sister?

Mild - Reality definition = The brain stroke you get from the ciggies will only put you in a wheelchair. You'll be able to understand a little of what your family is saying to you, but you won't be able to wipe your own bum.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous7:28 pm

    Hope you're getting lots of hits on your blog. I like your humourous approach too.


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