News Bulletin: Just in. Santa's sley has disappeared from radar screens. After leaving the North Pole it seems he just vanished.
The new American Missile defense system had no comment on the rumour that a missile, which was supposed to have been launched in a failed test weeks ago, suddenly activated and headed toward Santa. The words 'Donner and Blitzen' flashed across military monitors and the computer read them as the German words 'thunder and lightning', believing it to be a codename for an attack from the French pretending they were Germany. As usual there was no mention of North Korea. The missile headed straight toward a red beacon mistakenly read as a warhead. Rudolph will be missed.
Homeland Security said whatever happened, America is safer now.