Saturday, March 19, 2005

Cool BC Parks of the future

NEWS ITEM: Leaked secret documents show Gordon Campbell's Liberals to allow major expansion of private lodges in BC Provincial Parks.

A family arrives at a BC Provincial park for camping ...
BOY: Wow Dad, look at that, a big pink building!
MOM: What IS that, Hon'? This was all trees last time.
DAD: One of the new American style lodges, I didn't think they were here yet.
GIRL: Cool, a Ferris wheel and look, a Brittney Spears arcade!
BOY: Dad, can we get a slurpy at the Seven-Eleven?
MOM: My goodness. What happened to our wilderness park?
DAD: This was in that secret Liberal plan for our parks that Gordon Campbell had hidden.
BOY: The parking lot is way flat and I didn't even bring my skateboard.
MOM: Is that skinny thing a bear in a cage?
DAD: Yeah, it says 'No Hiking. See a raccoon here.'
MOM: That lodge is huge. The flashing lights for the bar are kinda bright.
SON: Where are we gonna camp, Dad?
GIRL: Dad, no tenting on the parking lot.
DAD: I see that. It's $10 an hour to park here anyway.
BOY: This is cool, Dad, just like the city. And there's gonna be a water park here soon.
DAD: Don't they know there's a LAKE out there?
GIRL: I like Gordon Campbell, he's changed everything.
(Dad starts to openly cry)
MOM: Aw Hon, don't do that, she can't vote yet.
DAD: She needs retraining. Whatever happened to seeing the wildnerness?
MOM: Whatever happened to Supernatural British Columbia?
DAD: There was no money in it for the Liberals.
(Dad continues sobbing as a flock of starlings crap on his car on their way to the new McDonalds.)
GIRL: Da-ad, Jimmy's breathing all the air again!

Future BC Provincial Park


  1. Once the park levers go....can school, wather and air be far behind.

    Great post - is it possible to simultaneously laugh and cry?

  2. Anonymous10:34 am

    Your writing is very funny and I olike the way you tell the truth in the posts. I would laugh more except I am crying too.


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