Hey, you young fellers. You need to thank us old guys for today's girls and their attitudes and attributes.
A recent study showed that teenaged girls consider that giving their boyfriend oral sex is little more than kissing. Wow, these young women certainly have a different attitude. And they're all having their breasts augmented, aren't they? Attributes enhanced. And what about those ultra low rider jeans? Tummys invoking tumescence. Bikini waxes mostly mandatory. The prudes of yesteryear when a glimpse of stocking was something shocking are gone. You know why don't you? We older guys CREATED these modern women.
It is because all us guys spent our most productive years praying for this. It was a mass mental wishlist.
You young men have no idea how many desperate pleadings went on at drive-in movies. Or how we flattered and fawned for a little fellaplay while helping our girl babysit. And you couldn't hear those fervent voices out in the ether asking for bigger boobs, but they were there, bouncing off the planets like pinballs, flashing every light in the galaxy until the message was received and understood. Mass prayer works. The dreams of your preceding generation were answered. You owe us big time.
Too late for us oldsters mind you, these attitude adjusted young women are no longer interested in grizzled, shaky veterans of the sex wars. But you could say a thanks whenever you see an old man leering over a soft downy belly, or watching the heft of a lusty pair of boobs float past.
It didn't all work out though because we only got Viagra as an answer to one of our prayers.
(editors note: Drive-in movies were places where you could stay in your car in the dark with your girl and watch a movie at the same time. Pray for their return)