Monday, November 15, 2004

Baseball's sadness

Barry Bonds is nominated for the MVP in NL baseball. And at 703 homers, is closing in on Babe Ruth's 714. Hank Aaron is the lifetime leader with 755. Should there be an asterisk beside Bond's name in any record books? Should there have been one beside Mark MGuire's when he set the new home run record? Both Mark McGuire and Barry Bonds admittedly used 'strength enhancing' or 'performance enhancing' drugs. These drugs, in McGuire's case, were such as androstenedione, banned by the NFL, the Olympics, NCAA, both men's and women's tennis etc. McGuire even expressed regret that children were becoming knowledgeable about his drug use and swore off them. After his record breaking of course.
The Sultan of Swat hit his 60 in 1927, in 154 games. Without drugs. In fact, he drank too much and smoked cigars, which could be construed as strength limiting! Barry Bonds has been investigated by a Grand Jury for his connections with chemical labs and their products for athletes. Bonds contends his 'drugs' are nutritional supplements.
I contend that an asterisk should be placed beside the name of any athlete who uses anything to supplement his natural skills. The Great Bambino had no use of these 'enhancements. Hank Aaron had none. As a matter of fact, I would contend that Aaron, as a consumate sportsman, would have been aghast at such a suggestion. And one would think Ruth's .690 lifetime slugging percentage will remain out of reach in spite of the superhumans to come. However, as 'the Show' and money are more important than the influences on children, I suspect that future enhancements in baseball will aim for a robotic baseball player. Sort of an X-Box All-Star.
Meanwhile I hope Barry Bonds and Mark McGuire enjoy their 'enlargement of male breasts' which is an irreversible side effect of some of these drugs.
Perhaps the future holds a Baseball Brassier too? Bats by Louiseville Slugger, lingerie by La Senza.

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