Wednesday, October 26, 2005

World Series 2005

I was watching the fourth game in Houston, Texas. spit
It seemed like it was spit going to be a good game. Then this chubby guy gets on first. A play later he's running to spit second, he gets halfway and starts running out of steam! He slows down just before reaching the base and get's thrown out! Has a big drink at the dugout like he's won the game.
Close Up on his manager trying to be stoic. Extreme spit tips us off what he's really thinking.
Pitches later. Close Up on the league commissioner, nice wig, preoccupied with his shoes, chewing nuts with his mouth wide open. More vacant innings. spit Ex president George Bush is there, Barbara beside him with her head down doing a crossword puzzle or something.
Then this player gets hit by a pitch in the batters' box. spit He is in pain even though he had armor on the hand. Everyone attends him, he gets the base but it seems doubtful if he'll make it to first. Several guys crowd around him. spit Maybe he'll need a doctor. Maybe even counselling. These baseball players are wimps, they need to see a hockey game.
CU again on the managers. full spit A fat pitcher comes out. Throws a few spitballs and retires for hamburgers. CU on George Bush, staring off into space wondering if Saddam is dead yet. Barbara sleeping with her eyes open. A guy goes to the plate, doesn't swing. Stands there watching the pitcher or something behind him maybe. Three fastballs. The guy is out, goes to the dugout, gets a big slurpy or Gatorade, (these guys need gaiter aid) then acts like he's just nailed the last spike in the Crossing of America railroad! He gets some attention from the trainer over that indentation on his shoulder from the perpetual bat rest. spit
Lots of closeups on fans, most of them preoccupied with their shoes. spit Many young boys there in the prime front seats, looking to a future of spending their Dads' money. spit More throwing. Great spit from the Houston manager, at least a pint. CU of huge wad of gum in a mouth. Nose picker. oops. spitter. Players wives, clones looking all the same. NL approved hair. Umpire spits, I think he farted too. Some important looking guys in a row, all spit and polish with suits. Great catch by someone. Men on base, a 1 to nothing game for White Sox, then a high hit, Astros runner goes from second. Way high ball caught by center fielder, he throws .... Cut to: Runner sliding into home plate! Hurray! I'm looking at the score, hey it should be tied now? Right? But they're not posting that run? Oh, wait, I get it, just after the Chicago guy caught the ball, the clever TV director inserted a Houston runner sliding in to home from a different game! Wow, for a minute there I thought there'd be some excitement in baseball. spit. I wasn't tuned in in time to see any F15s flyby before the game, but I would have expected Spitfires anyway. spit
A batter swinging wildly and slipping in his spit. I think he strained something. Maybe a spittoon should be by the plate? Then a final guy pinch hitting and tossed out at first. He's not Kirk Gibson. George Bush Sr. seems a little pissed because they lost the game, and even though he's got two strikes against Saddam, he might lose that game too.
Chicago 1 - Houston 0
spit Never mind that hockey idea, if these guys played hockey the ice would be too bumpy to skate on. spit

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:22 pm

    That is fuckin hilarious and TRUE!


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