Saturday, December 02, 2006

False Creek Urgent Care Center

The Urgent Care Center opened today despite an earlier warning by BC Premier Gordon Campbell about the Canada Health Act. After a secret meeting between owners of the clinic and Campbell, it was allowed to go ahead.
I don't know about you, but anything that Gordon Campbell is involved in makes me feel scammed. There's always a secret agenda that we find out about later. Example - Gordon saying he wouldn't touch BC Hydro but then effectively bypassing it for private hydro power to make money for his buddies.
Well this time I can imagine how it went down - - -

Dr. Mark Godley: - Hello, Gordon.
Premier Gordon Campbell: - Hi Mark, you heard me blasting you in the media, didn't you? About the Canada Health Act?
Dr. Mark:
- I did, Gordon. You know we got a ton of lawyers in this, all investors by the way, we can obfuscate forever.
Premier Gordon: - You won't need to. I had to say something though, you know how it goes. Present that caring image. But the public forgets, just say Maui and they only think of shark bites now. So what's the problem, Mark?
Dr. Mark: - Well so far so good. We've got a great cross section of doctors too, all practicing in regular public hospitals as well as our clinic, you know, duel practice, duel pay. Emergency ward guys too, they'll be spreading our news, telling patients how bad it is in public facilities. You've done a great job there too, Gordon, cutting all that regular hospital funding. Especially closing an emergency room! We gotta thank you for
making us look great.
Premier Gordon: - Preplanning is everything, Mark. Next we're going to cut the Alzheimer's patients down to one meal a day, how would they ever know?
Dr. Mark: - Brilliant. Gordon, but with Adrian Dix keeping this all in the media, we're worried about showing good first quarter profit. We want a top money zone very quickly, to show that the public WANTS to pay extra for health care. So we're looking for ways to cut our costs, don't want to save on bandages or stuff like that, we need nice white ones for appearance, you know. But the hundred ninety-nine dollar evaluation fee only goes so far. People who are sick will pay it, they don't know the difference between halitosis and thrombosis but it don't look so good when the patient only has a zit!
Premier Gordon: - I have a great idea for you. Listen to this; Why don't we use the BC Medicare system to do your accounting for you at public expense?
Dr. Mark: - Wha? How would that work?
Premier Gordon: - Wow, I can actually hear the excitement in your voice, Mark. See, how about we tell you to BILL your patients THROUGH the BC Medicare plan, that'll make everyone think we're being vigilant about Care Cards, then we'll insist on auditing you. Presto! Our audit done, your accounting done. All with taxpayer's money.
Dr. Mark: - Brilliant! Easy to see why you're top pineapple around here, Gordon.
Premier Gordon: - Okay, make sure you bitch about it though. Meanwhile we'll think up some bad stuff about Dix.
Dr. Mark: - Great. Hey, any way we can get in on those dozens of pneumonia cases on the Downtown East Side? Three of 'em have died without us getting a nickel. We charge $3000. to fix anything above a cough, you know.
Premier Gordon: - Nah, you don't wan't to do that. Those people don't even HAVE Care Cards, besides, they're all dirty looking too, would scare off your rich marks, er, I mean clientelle.
Dr. Mark: - Yeah, you're right, we don't want to start taking in cans and bottles to pay for treatment.
Premier Gordon: - If they weren't out there all night collecting the cans and bottles they wouldn't GET pneumonia, would they? Bye Mark.
Dr. Mark: - Bye Gord'.

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