- - you don't want to have your laundry hamper and your toilet in the same room.
- - intestinal gas is not a propellant.
- - I must have only dreamt I peed a hole through cardboard.
- - all those people weren't actually talking to ME.
- - prunes aren't funny anymore.
- - if you wear dentures, you don't want to spit while flushing the toilet.
- - hair moves around under your skin to a different place.
- - snoring is like a reverse alarm system.
- - on the pleasure scale scratching a rash and bowel movements are now tied for first.
- - UNtieing your shoelaces is way harder than tieing them.
- - The best way to keep your slippers on is to put your socks on OVER them.
- - cover your mouth when you cough; it's embarrassing to spew germs all over. It's even more embarrassing to spew your teeth over the checkout counter.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Things I learn as I get older
Posted by Caterwauler at 6:16 pm