Sunday, April 09, 2006

Living Longer - Choices

There are many things you can do to increase your life expectancy: exercise, eat well, take your medication etc. It is known that regular physical exercise can add 3.0-to-5.1 years.
However two new studies seemed to add making a serious decision to the process.

Study #1 - Church
The role of religion can be important to your longevity. Regular weekly religious church attendance could add 1.8-to-3.1 years to your life.
"Religious attendance is not a mode of medical therapy," said study leader Daniel Hall, a resident in general surgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. "While this study was not intended for use in clinical decision making, these findings tell us that there is something to examine further."
The findings are detailed in the March-April issue of the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine.

Study #2 - Breasts
This from the New England Journal of Medicine:
Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered. "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out," declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby. The study revealed that after five years, the breast-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease. "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Weatherby. "There is no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthier. Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

So ... um ... er ... decide, go to church, live 3.1 years longer. Stare at breasts, live 4 to 5
years longer.

There were no comments on whether jogging with a well endowed woman or staring at the preacher's wife would have any effect.


Enjoy your lives, guys, focus on living a long life ... just don't get caught focussing.



4 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:08 pm

    at last! the proof I needed! Thanks a lot caterwauls!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:42 am

    I feel healthier already! And summer is yet to come!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:46 pm

    does staring at boobs all day every day on the web count?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Seems you have quite a following
    caterwauls

    ReplyDelete

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