from - Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Miss America - The F@$&%# up state of pageants
Miss America tested positive for cocaine. She has been carousing in New York City's bars and drinking martinis before she turned 21. She was caught doing a glue-faced tongue kiss in public with Miss Teen America, the other All-American party girl. Miss Teen America is a spokesperson for MADD!
Donald Trump is the co-owner of the Miss America pageant. Mr. Trump went into a meeting with the perfectly round-breasted Ms. Conner this morning expecting to terminate her reign as Miss USA.
But he said the meeting showed him someone with “a good heart” who had been caught up in a “whirlwind” in New York. Evidently he couldn't say, "Miss America, you're fired!"
The Donald's hair was not mussed.
Monica Lewinski or Bill Clinton couldn't be reached for comment.
Today - She was not crowned winner of the recent Miss USA pageant, but the big story to come out of the 'contest' was Miss California's comments regarding gay marriage. One stumble led to another as it was revealed that Carrie Prejean, had lied about posing topless for photos previously. The topless came about because - "The wind blew my top off ..." - during a photo shoot. It was also revealed that in assessing her weak spots, her boobs were deemed too small and the contest paid for implants. They also fixed her teeth. All this while she professed to only accept natural attributes. No brain implants were available at the time.
And once again, The Donald went into a room with the lovely Miss to scrutinize the revealing photos of her and found no cause to revoke her title, and emerged to announce she would keep her title.
The controversy has made for some wonderful publicity.
Say anything you want about me, but spell my name correctly. That's Hollywood.