Monday, August 25, 2008


I was looking through this blurb from my local community center. Wondering what educational or artistic things I might partake in for the indoor season of autumn and winter here.
I have always been a strong advocate of night school and community programs because they offer something for everyone to improve themselves.
Alas. Things have changed as Bob Dylan said. Now there seems little for ME to do, only for certain other people.
In the first few pages I found art for Chinese Canadians, Kababayang Pilipino dance, Mexican Altars competition, Diwali Festival workshops, Shaq'asthut Gathering Place, Fabric Messages from the Middle East, Katari Taiko music, African Dance, Dimasalang Artists, Youth Kontzert Series, and it went on from there.
There is tons of stuff if you get pregnant. And for kids. But it's not worth getting pregnant for. Babies Only Botanical Care, I'm not going there because of the images already in my mind of infants with vines growing out of their ears tending gardens.
Ah wait, here it is, adult things for me ... Knitting with Wire, hmm, since there are no more knights about to joust in the lists, I'm not sure why anyone needs to make chain mail. Wheel Throwing with Sue. She must be the champ, like how far can it roll? Sounds strenuous.
I could do Belly Dance with Venus, but they'd see the lust right away and toss me out. Reggaeton for Women, oops not for me, how to seduce a man with reggaeton body movement. But how many times can you listen to Bob Marley's Buffalo Soldier without smoking weed? Dog Obedience. Training won't stop them pooping at embarrassing moments. My dog could never digest corn.
The Buddha Within - described as Brain and Nervous System Seminar. Fiddling around with my central nervous system makes me just .... nervous. Urban Women of courage. Is that Joan of Arc complex? Urban women who stay at home to look after their own kids without killing them must quality for that one.
Ah, here we are, something just for me, Older Adult Programs. Oops, it's in Chinese. Wonder what it says? Oh darn, that's the only one under that heading.

I seem to have 5 strikes against me these days - I am not a landed immigrant, was born here in Vancouver; I am not gay; I am a non-lesbian; I am male: I am over 40, well ok, over 50; I only speak English; my heritage is white Northern European; I have no esoteric religion. (This would include the mysteries of Catholicism and Protestantaneanism.)
I guess I can look bleakly forward to another winter of surfing the web endlessly.
I AM a minority now, but I don't qualify for anything.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:30 am

    Right on, it would be very funny writing if it was not so very true.
    Enjoy your blog and return often first time I have commented though.


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