Thursday, April 24, 2008

Plastic Minds

A Florida plastic surgeon, Dr. Michael Salzhauer recently wrote a book, My Beautiful Mommy.
He wanted to help children understand why their mothers were having plastic surgery. The book is for 4 to 7-year olds. Some don't like it. Some people wonder why children need to know why Mommy isn't happy with herself. Some believe that children at this age shouldn’t even be exposed to plastic surgery. Maybe society beauty fixer Salzhauer needs to be more honest in his approach to children. Maybe Dr. Quacko wants little children to be prepared for the future by reassessing themselves, at four years old. A lucrative future for him?

Maybe this is how it should have gone - - -

Dear little Billy; Your Mommy wasn't happy, she had a ugly nose got a guy to cut some of it off! Now she has a pretty nose but it runs.

Dear little Mary: Your Mommy was a hippo. She had chocolates under her pillow. She got a man to vacuum up her fat. Now she can eat all the burgers she wants. With onion rings please. They gave the fat to Daddy for his car engine.

Dear little Terry: Your Mommy had teeny lil pancake boobies. She went and got really really big plastic ones put in. Now she can flirt with your school friends and Daddy's boss. She could have just played beach volley ball and no one would have noticed anything.

Dear little Sammy: Your Daddy had such a teeny wee dinky, when he peed he'd go ON the toilet seat because he couldn't get hold of it to aim. He got a man to stick Botox into it and now he doesn't need to hold it at all. But he now pees OVER the sink.

Dear little Sarah: Your mommy had thin lips and Daddy didn't think they were sexy, so she got the same stuff put in there that Daddy got in his dinky and now she has big fat lips. Daddy likes them way better because they make him think sexy, but they are so hard now she can't smile or move them. Daddy just pees.

Are you children too fat?

Perhaps plastic minds are in our future.

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