Thursday, December 23, 2010

Liberal wannabes circle the wagons

Solicitor General Rich Coleman is supporting Kevin Falcon for the leadership of the BC Liberal party.  If they were having a hamburger together, would a conversation go like this?
Rich -  "We circle the wagons, the public is starting to ask questions about our participation in the BC Rail scam! We can't let any more of this get out, Kevin."
Kevin - "Yeah, Gordo was pretty smart, after all those years of the BC Rail trial, stopping it before Gary Collins could testify."
Rich - "Well it was a trust issue, we didn't know if we could count on Gary to lie ...."
Kevin - "Hey, he's a Lieberal isn't he? That's a joke."
Rich - ".... Didn't wanna bet on Collins or Clark, even if I am in charge of gambling, oops er, gaming."
Kevin - "Ok Rich. You going to eat that second burger?"
Rich - "Yeah I am."
Kevin - "What about Kristy?"
Rich - "Oh hell, Kristy is trying to bury the scandal too, she is involved for chrissakes! So no problem there."
Kevin - "Yeah? You think?"
Rich - "Look, in the debate, you gotta scare her off, say something like, 'my Basi is not Virking today' that oughta do it."
Kevin - "And George Abbott?"
Rich - "Kevin, he's a joke, the only thing he is lacking is Costello. We'll we save him for the apology afterward, he is so good at it, having done it for the past few years! I heard his neighbor ran over his foot with a power mower and George just said he was sorry! Har har har."
Kevin - "Rich, I'm glad you chose to support me over Kash Heed."
Rich - "Well the Rich-Kash team sounded just too, uh, too Gordon Campbellish, you know, smacks of money and secret bank accounts."
Kevin - "You gonna finish all those chips?"
Rich - "Yeah I am."
Kevin - "Good thing we've got Vaughn Palmer and Keith Baldrey on side, they are deflecting a lot of this for us."
Rich - "That's great. And Bill Good is great too, you can count on him to ask innocuous questions."
Kevin - "Even then you don't have to answer."
Rich - "Stay away from that Bill Thielemen though. NDP spokesman. Hey waitress! Can I get another burger over here?"
Kevin - "Fast ferries fast ferries! ha ha!"
Rich - "How much longer can we milk that one? But it keeps the people off the 430 million dollar German ferry stuff. And it's a good chant when they start asking about the salaries of BC Ferries execs."
Kevin - "I even chanted it when they asked about BC Rail exec salaries!"
Rich - "But we still got a BC Rail, that's the point."
Kevin - "Wait'll they find out BC Hydro's only gonna be a tropical fish tank somewhere."
Rich - "Har har."
Kevin - "Hey Rich, what about that new guy who's writing shit about us? That Alex G. Tsakumis guy with the blog?"
Rich - "Shh! Keep that one quiet, he is doing the investigative reporter's job, exposing stuff. People might Google him at and find out more true crap."
Kevin - "Yeah. Ok. Hey Rich, does my hair look cool? I mussed it some more. Going for the young vote."
Rich - "Not too much more though, you're beginning to look like Emo Phillips. Kevin, can I ask you something? You really didn't know the Skytrain up Cambie was going underground?"
Kevin - "Here comes your burger."

The only question remaining is whether Kevin will start calling Rich Coleman, Unca Richie.


  1. If I don't laugh I will cry, you are so right. Love the humor to make my life a bit less stressful.

  2. Cater...
    Right on Buddie.


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