Monday, October 04, 2010

New sex survey

The Journal of Sexual Medicine has just published a 130 page report on the orgasm habits of people aged 14 to 94! They found that there was an 'orgasm gap' in their study. Sheeez, isn't the gap from 14 to 94 enough?
But the new study suggests that it was a male-female gap in perceptions of orgasm, with 85 per cent of the men saying their latest sexual partner had an orgasm, compared with 64 per cent of women saying they did have one.

And what exactly did you expect from asking males? The truth? We're talking about men talking about their sexual prowess! Don't expect veracity.
I believe the study is 'in press' so we can't quite see it all just yet. But did we need a study to find out that 85 percent of men said their partner had an orgasm?
Men will always have won the fight when their opponent has gone home. Maybe ask them how many hookers gave them their money back too. The difference of 21% may be the lie-ability index. Men will say she had one no matter what. She either faked them out or they just don`t give a damn. I suspect the latter.

So the faux orgasm is alive and well and maybe even being improved upon.
Faking gained huge momentum since Meg Ryan's infamous restaurant scene. And she hadn't even got her burger yet!
Speaking of inducements. Any research between food and orgasms? Obviously a hamburger only gets you the Fake ala Meg. But would a steak get you the real one? What about a steak with chocolate on it?
And is there a correlation between orgasms and jewelry? I heard that women can have orgasms right there in the diamond store if the carat weight is right!

So when is the next study? I want to apply for a job there. That orgasm gap is the intriguing thing. One would expect a gap of about fourteen minutes for the 14 year old, but it probably disintegrates exponentially as you age. At ninety-four, you may be mostly watching and waiting, 94 DAYS is more like it.
And at that age, if you happen to get good wood, it is usually at 3:30 am and you dare not wake her up because she might be dreaming about bald headed mice in her bed! And that snore is designed to scare them off. The black wrath of the Bella Lugosi Dracula-Wolf is way too fearsome.
Well, all you can do is get up, go leave a pee, snuggle back in to your own dry dreams and hope the sun rises soon.

The researchers said they were struck by the variety of ways in which the subjects engaged in sex — 41 different combinations of sexual acts were tallied, encompassing vaginal and anal intercourse, oral sex, and partnered masturbation. No Kama Sutra here. What about the triple toe loop?
One of the professors who commented on the study said, "This is normal, everything in there is normal." I'm not so sure about number 37.

And can you please give us a list of the sex acts preferred by men and women? And do some research on those black spike heels the women always wear in bed. Is that so they can run from the cops? Or are the shoes the payment? And why do those lesbian girls always end up giving head to men? Or is that just in the movies I watch? Hmm. Although many men profess to be lesbians too, does that make them bisexual?

The survey people say they are encouraged because the teens are using condoms more often, but worried because the older folks are not. Well good. But those old folks, especially the ninety-four year olds, have trouble feeling if their LEGS are still there. They`re not about to cover up anything!
As for me, I am practicing safe sex to the extreme, I wear my rubber gloves to masturbate.

We can always do with another sex survey, meanwhile I`m renting `When Harry Met Sally` again to watch Meg for clues. The dictionary says fake is `A brief feint or aborted change of direction intended to mislead one's opponent`.
Opponent, huh?
Bring on that Dracula Babe. I'm no 21 percenter.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:45 pm

    You're just too funny!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you so much for sharing it.
    Kamagra is a medication especially prescribed by the consultants used for the treatment of ED (Erectile Dysfunction) and sexual disorders in men. Manufactured by Ajanta Pharma Limited, you can buy Kamagra from authorized chemist stores

    Buy Kamagra UK

    ReplyDelete
  3. Michael G10:35 am

    Always a jerk trying to sell some shit. Delete the idiot!

    ReplyDelete

Keep it real - spam or links will be eliminated