New study on drinking alcohol

There's a new study showing that people who drink alcohol live longer than those who don't. It actually concluded that even heavy drinkers are better off than abstainers.

The study was in the journal - Alcoholism; Clinical and Experimental Research and suggested abstaining from alcohol tends to increase one's risk of dying and that people who drink to excess actually live longer!
They're not sure why these drinkers are less likely to die than those who have never had a drink but one reason (they say) could be that alcohol tends to act as a social lubricant, and social interaction is vital for mental and physical health.
Okaaay.

I used to drink infrequently, (not counting my adventurous and stumbling youth) but that has gradually changed to my present drinking behavior:
Happy hour every day.
Used to start about 4:30 pm but is now pulled back to about 2:30 pm, where we have several afternoon delight cocktails and end up sleeping through the 6 o'clock news.
Of course, missing the news is the healthful part. That MUST be good for you.
So if this is all good, why shouldn't happy hour start in the mornings?
I wake up these days full of aches and pains. So social lubrication is good even if I just talk to the radio or a book.
I could start with a Stella Artois beer about 9 am. My personal social lubricant and climb-out-of-bed drink. At noon switch to Bombay gin and Schwepp's with a slice of lemon and interact with Kipling and Indjuh, his characters are real and socially interactive to me, especially Baloo the carefree bear. Lubricating my mind you see.
By 4 pm I go to Stolichnaya vodka with orange juice while reading Dostoevsky and thinking of chopping wood in the gulags. That is mental exercise too, right? Improvement of the mind, battling dementia and social lubrication too.

Seven, a civilized hour for supper .... perhaps a small pasta dish and a glass or two of Montepulciano d'Abruzzo. Ciao, socialle lubricato with Marcello and Sophia. Now that is socially interactive lubrication. The Via Veneto after dark.

And if there happens to be a twitch later, around 10, maybe a dram of macadamia nut liqueur, the Kahana Royale, sooo smooth. So lush, so Hawaiian kahunaish. So Kamehameha. If Hawaiians aren't socially lubricative I don't know who are.

I am beginning to love looking after my health. So socially acceptable. And looking forward to a long liquescent life.

I'm going to drink more if my retirement plan will cover it. Wake me at 11 for a nightcap.

Psst! Shomeone needsh to rinshe out the glasshes for morning.