El artista

Little girl, I have a couple of friends I'd like you to meet, Jerry Lee Lewis and Roman Polanski. Would you like that, Honey? Mommy won't know.

T'was the what?

Twas the night before Holiday Season?     No way!   Now politically correctness has Universal Religious Person not smoking any more?    Gimme a break. 
Where the f@%# is Santa?

Twas the Night Before ....

"The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He was chubby and plump, chock full of crunchies, no cookies for him, he wanted more munchies!

He filled all the stockings by the chimney with care, with little green baggies, legal and fair.
Then sat there and grinned, a right mellow old steed. 
We giggled together, because of the weed!

His next stop was Denver, no hurry to fly,
he told me they were already One Mile High!

So we puffed his old pipe, said  'Ain't Christmas great?'
ate up all my brownies, gotta love Washington State!"

Merry Christmas!



apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

So you think YOUR day is bad ....

Der Fuehrer ist pissed becausen he vas caught vearing leotards und it ist beginink to rain mitt snow und now dumbkopf car vill not shtarten. Get avay mitt fatherazzi kamera you svinen before I crush mine kap!