Politiclly Correct Riot

So in this aftermath of the Vancouver Riots we are getting every conceivable fix from every conceivable source. And a lot of feeble excuses thrown in like pepper in a sauce.

Police chief Jim Chu says maybe we weren't quite prepared but it's not his fault. Mayor Robertson says it's not his fault. Madam Premier Clark says we'll get them and then goes into hiding.  Blame the Canucks for losing! Blame the police for not controlling the situation. Blame Transit for allowing people into Vancouver! Blame anyone else.

The solutions are endless and ridiculous! Don't sell alcohol. Stop people from arriving into Vancouver. Stop the Skytrain from running. Block the roads. Don't allow planes to land. Hire thousands more police. Get water canons. Rubber bullets. Real bullets! Close liquor stores. Close Red Bull stores. Build more community centers. Start Riot Education Programs in Kindergarten. Give them free hot dogs and cocoa. What else?

Whatever they do, while we wait for whatever consequences are going to happen. We still see those violent images of the event in progress.  Fires, fights, looting, cars afire, fires in buidings, cars tipped over, window smashing, robbing, brazen youth taunting, even fighting with police, drunks drunks drunks etc etc etc.

This is what I see which leads to my solution - - -
I watched on TV as lines of policemen with helmets and face shields, Billy clubs and plexiglass body shields stood in their line and only watched as rowdy youth threw beer cans, junk, sticks and stones and even wooden pallets at them. Occassionally a policeman would lash out with his Billy club and swipe at the THIGHS of the attacker.
How nice of our police to be so gentle with rioters.

I thought at the time that if I was a policeman in that line, I would only last ONE riot and probably be fired. I wanted to see the police go right after the taunter, smack him with the Billy club IN THE HEAD! Send him down and out, full of blood, and then cuff him right there, legs and hands. Throw him in jail and conveniently forget about him for say, 96 hours. I KNOW they cannot legally do that. So bite me! You cannot legally riot either!

Did you know what Krazy Glue was invented for in Japan? The Japanese police would collar a rioter, put the glue on both palms, pull him around a lamp pole, slap his hands together and leave him there, to be picked up later! Now that is action.

Yes, I am aware of the lawsuit idea against the police. In many cases sponsored by an indignant daddy's money! Not MY son, they say! But if the people who are charged take months to come to court, then let the perps who think they're mistreated sue us and then WE make sure THOSE cases go on the back burner for years. Decades.

If the police are going to stand and take it, then they will suffer the results, which translates to the law abiding people of Vancouver. A riot situation is serious and requires extreme action with dire consequences. Jim Chu said they couldn't act because innocent people were standing around watching? What? Would they do that in Bagdad or Kabul? If you are innocent get the hell out of there or face the results!

I do believe that while I watched our Gentlemen Police Force in action (if action is the correct word) others with an interest in the potential 'fun' of rioting watched also, saw the feeble efforts of our police and decided to go with the flow. And those images are having a lasting effect that you CAN riot and nothing much will happen.

Too bad it is coming true, but Gentleman Jim Chu, needs to put his job on the line and become Genghis Jim Chu.
No fighting, no burning, no taunting, no shit or you get what's coming to you.

It is sad to say, but yes, add this to the gang killings on our streets every month,  and Vancouver is becoming a lawless city.

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Good morning .... in 5 seconds.

Good Morning America viewers should never have been allowed to see Nicki Minaj's exposed nipple, an enraged campaign group has argued. The singer suffered the 'wardrobe malfunction' while performing as part of the US breakfast TV show's Summer Concert Series on Friday, August 5. The incident has already become a big hit on YouTube, although full clips of the exposure are routinely being taken down by the video sharing site. (don't go looking, it's not the point of this article)

However, the Parents Television Council has argued that the racy footage (their words) should never even have made it to air, as the program could have used a five-second delay to prevent such problems.

Hmm. I wonder how many children are actually watching or paying attention to their mother's choice of morning TV shows? Do four-year-olds tune in to Regis and the grotesquely skinny Kelly for morning chatter? Six-year-olds to Good Morning America? Other breakfast news shows?
Whatever happened to TelaTubbies?  Ninja Turtles? Winnie the Pooh? Donald Duck has paraded around in front of children for decades without any pants on! Where is the Parents Television Council on that one?
Did Janet Jackson really offend anyone with her flash at a Superbowl game? Does someone on the PTC actually WATCH the NFL or did someone tell them later to be offended? Does anyone on this Parents Television Council ever go to MTV and see the daily T&A show there? Or to the National Gallery of virtually any country?

Hmm again. I wonder how many of these offended people are in the rallying crowd defending a woman's right to breast feed her child at the mall or anywhere anytime? And yelling that breasts are NOT sexual. It seems to me that 'racy' footage is what is supposed to be racy,  like Red Shoe Diaries, not a simple slip during a quaking musical performance.
Too bad there are so many people who find the live human body so offensive but don't mind watching the dead ones in morning news war footage, oblivious to the impact on their children.


Methinks that Nicki Minaj and her nipple would go right past the attention of a preschool child, and other modern children, the demographic of her fans, would just ignore it anyway. Maybe the PTC needs to concentrate on childrens' beauty pageants instead? Now there is something disgusting!
But then if you can't find enough to complain about, you're unlikely to get more money for more complaints. Councils need to perpetuate themselves, don't they?
And in those 5 seconds, Nicki got 5 miles of publicity!


Meanwhile, here's a few lines from the Supergirl of Hip Hop:

I remember when I couldn't buy my mother a couch
Now I'm sittin' at the closin' bought my mother a house
You could never understand why I grind like I do .....

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The Divine Miss M

Lady Gaga, who some say has doubtful talent, steals Bette Midler's wheelchair routine?

She already copied Madonna's Express Yourself with her Born this Way. She can't seem to meat up with any originality! After leaking the lyrics on her Twitter account, Gaga debuted the single. And while 'Born This Way' remained a trending topic on Twitter all that morning – another began trending as well: 'Express Yourself,' as in Madonna's 1989 Top 10 hit. By late morning, 'Express Yourself' had become more popular than 'Born This Way' on Twitter, with fans and foes alike comparing the songs.] You can watch the Madonna hit here - http://caterwauls.ca/MadonnaPage.htm

So now Lady Gaga has arrived on stage in Sydney, Australia in a wheelchair ala Grammy winner Midler. Did she think she was far enough away that no one would notice? But we all know the Divine Miss M has her own original style, and some would think that her wheelchair routine as mermaid Delores Delago should be untouchable as a signature character!

There was plenty of controversy to go around after Lady Gaga's show in Sydney. Aussies threw eggs at the singer (sic) as she left a bar, (perhaps they thought she was wearing ham?) and activists were enraged when she came onstage in a wheelchair dressed as a mermaid character. ? Is there a 'Legs for Mermaids' movement somewhere? Only in OZ.
It is interesting to note that the first mermaids, spied by starved sailors at sea, were actually dugongs!

Midler, our Lady of the Perpetual Smile, was critical of the Gaga at first, tweeting the message that she had been performing her mermaid character since 1980 - ‘You can keep the meat dress and the firecracker tits - mermaid's mine'.
Then being the classy Babe she is, said it was okay.

Did Lady Gaga think 1999 and 1980 were so far in the distant past for people to remember the originals? Hmm. I suppose her fans weren't born yet so what would they know?

What's next? Maybe she needs to go back further, no one would remember Judy Garland's Over the Rainbow. (1939) Would she do it dressed as the Tin Man, not knowing anything about the original. If that isn't a signature song I don't know what is.

Alas, maybe it is time for me to move on, I just remember too much.

One thing she cannot steal, The Divine Miss M's routine, 'Pretty Legs and Great Big Knockers'  fans have been going gaga over that for a long time. And the Lady is unfortunately missing in those attributes.

Pretty legs and great big knockers will always be Bette Midler!
You can't steal that kind of talent.


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Wife arrested - penis in garbage disposal

In Garden Grove, California, a wife (allegedly) fed her husband drugged food, tied him naked to a bed, cut off his penis and threw it into the garbage disposal! My gawd, haven't they heard of a safe word? Everyone involved in kink knows that. The police found him bleeding profusely, still tied. And most likely crying.
This woman had a powerful hate on for her estranged husband. And kitchen knives are usually dull. Go look at your butter knife!

At least Lorena Bobbitt just tossed it out the car window. In that case the police went searching along Lorena's route and found it, lying there all innocent and meek having been nearly run over by a cement truck, crows on the overhead wires looking down. They asked one lady if she had seen a penis and she said yes, she had, her uncle's in the shower when she was nine.
They reattached that one.

In this case they didn't say whether a plumber was called to open the sink trap. But they might not have been able to distinguish the remains from the rutabaga she had peeled earlier.
They allege Catherine Kieu Becker drugged the meal and served it to her estranged husband shortly before the attack.
The 51-year-old man felt sick, went to lie down and lost consciousness. The victim's arms and legs were tied to the bed with rope, (not silk rope either)  his clothes removed and he was attacked with the kitchen knife as he awoke. All that holding and sawing, of course he awoke! They said he was conscious when his penis was removed. Like really. Would he doze off?
It was tossed into the running garbage disposal. No thoughts whatsoever of the recycle bin.

You men stop shuddering like that! And you women stop chuckling! It used to be the wife took us for the house, the car and the children, but this? I now cringe when my wife throws a rotton old banana into the disposal.

Ms Becker may be charged with - aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse. Bail was set at $1 million. Is that all?
When contacted the victim only said. "This is a private matter." 
Well it is not private at all, there is now post-traumatic-stress among husbands everywhere thinking of their own treasured privates!
My wife just made cookies. Chocolate chip, my favorite, good stuff, but now I have to call her into the room, have her stand there in front of me and look into her eyes as I eat one! Watching for any sign of deceit or subterfuge ...... or sparkle. I thought of getting a witness but then I'd have to share the cookies.
Our relationship is strained at the moment because she caught me switching dinner plates. I have PTSD already.

Lorena Bobbitt claimed years of sexual abuse drove her to the attack, and she was acquitted by reason of insanity. Who knows what defense Catherine Kieu Becker's lawyers will choose, the Extrapolated Penis Envy defense? Kink gone Krazy defense? Weiner Rage defense? Not sure but we need to keep this quiet. No sense giving women ideas. You have no idea how many females grinned with empathy for Lorena Bobbitt.

But starting right now I will only eat my wife's cookies in a crowded public place with my phone on speed dial to an ambulance.
Private matter indeed.
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USA Construction vs Canada Construction

Today the Mayor of Los Angeles announced that the 405 Freeway, which was dubbed Carmageddon would reopen at noon, 17 hours early.
Mayor Villaraigosa said the 53-hour timetable for the project was agreed upon by contractors, transportation and public safety officials.  He thanked Los Angeles residents for heeding public officials’ calls to stay off area freeways.
The shortened closure "goes to show what we all can do when we get together for a common cause," Villaraigosa said, “A lot of people in Los Angeles have learned you can get along without taking long rides in your car on the weekend, we avoided a traffic nightmare.”
No major incidents were reported during the closure of the 10-mile stretch of freeway.
Villaraigosa credited contractors with completing work ahead of schedule. By finishing early, the project was saved the $700,000 cost of an added 12-hour shift, the mayor said.
Of that money, $300,000 was promised to contractors as an incentive to finish early. There was also a powerful disincentive for contractors to delay: Had they finished late, they would have been docked $6,000 every 10 minutes for each side of the freeway that was still closed.
Folks, the American contractors moved in at Midnight Friday to do this job which entailed tearing down overpasses and widening and repaving the whole highway! 

Hmm. In Canada they would have announced on Monday that the freeway might remain closed for the foreseeable future, due to coffee breaks, holiday scheduling, bickering between municipalities, and that Joe the foreman lost his hard hat and can't find it. Possible completion would likely be set for Christmas shopping or Easter of 2013 er, 2015.
Further complications might be added because of non Christian groups protesting the Christmas and Easter dates being used.
And the cost over-runs would have amounted to a third billion dollars being added to taxpayers property assessments to go along with the user fees which would have already risen from the 25 dollars per mile because of wage demands of the toll takers and the cost of the special photo radar camera transponders needed to keep track of drivers and their speeds.
The Canadian contractors would be rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of having construction work well into the decade and would have set up extra billing departments to keep the Government cheques coming in, anticipating penalties against the cities for late payments at a cost of 10,000 dollars per hour.
When and if the freeway finally opened again, there would be stretches where work was still going on or parts that needed repair because of uneven paving or potholes or heavy equipment still parked in traffic lanes. There would be one particularly bad bump where they had paved over Foreman Joe's hard hat.
Police would be disappointed in their take because speeds over 22 miles per hour, (35.40557 Kilograms per hour for our American friends) were impossible to attain.
Translink would announce a rethink of the design from blacktop to concrete to plastic, all of which would cost taxpayers at least one more room of their houses.
And the new mayors would all deny any responsibility for the catastrophe, since dubbed Apocarlypse Now. 

Americans know how to do stuff.
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Go Canucks ... Gone?

They lost. Terrible disappointment. Riots in the city. Depression all around.
The Vancouver Canucks lost in the final game of the final series of the Stanley Cup playoffs.





Only one thing to do .....

Start cheering for the Toronto Maple Leafs, they will NEVER lose in the Stanley Cup finals!

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Psychological hockey

Well the 'hit' changed a lot of things. It woke up the Bruins. It changed Aaron Rome's reputation. It remains an example of the North American style of play; If you have your head down you are fair game for a death blow. This is inbred into some Canadian and American players from Junior days. Like a macho thing to show that hockey players are tough. It is the remnants of the old style brutal game of intimidation where the hit in the corner has nothing to do with getting the puck. Sort of like the mentality of a pickup truck driver that thinks running you down in the street because you're not in the crosswalk is legal.

The 'hit' could have caused a psychological turning point and we mightn't win another game. But, at the same time, the humiliation of the Canucks by the Bruins could be a counter for the hit. Head game against head game. In a negative way. So it could be that all things are now equal again.
But I still have a bad feeling that we are done because the Canucks have an inability to inflict equal damage.  We just haven't had to play that way. Probably a result of the schedule inbreeding. One reason for this foreboding sense is that if there is a repeat of a goalie shelling, and the Canucks are being overwhelmed, Vignault will wait until the game is out of reach to pull Roberto Luongo.

I am one who has criticised Luongo since day one, deeming him a good goalie at best, However, in the first two games against Boston Luongo played his best ever as a Canuck. I am not sure he can reach that high again. Tim Thomas is the leagues best goalie. Roberto is not even close. By the way, it seems to me that there was a rule once that goalies cannot check because of their equipment. So wasn't that a penalty? Thomas was leaving the puck to hurt a Sedin. Shouldn't the NHL clarify if goalies can check? And if so can we check them back?

I hate to say it but I think the series is over because the Bruins have cross-checking, slashing, fighting etc as part of their Eastern game and the refs accept it. The Broad Street Bullies in Boston. Most of the eastern teams play this old game.
Since the Swedes and Czechs and Finns brought their hockey skills to the NHL, the old Don Cherry style rock 'en sock 'em hockey has been losing. Now it seems we might be headed for a return to that brutal game.
It basically depends on what NBC wants to promote. They will dictate their needs. And a skill game of speed and beauty will not draw viewers like MMA on ice will. Blood trumps stick handling. The Sedins are targets now and to protect them we would just get our players thrown out. The conspiracy theory deepens.

Just watch the cross checks with intent to injure around the Bruins' net, with the ref watching every one. Gretsky had Semenko and McSorley. Jean Belliveau had John Fergusen. Crosby had Georges Laraque. We even had Donald Brashear and Gino Odjig.
Boston has purposely worked in this direction, as GM Peter Chiarelli admits here -
Bruins embrace tough guy image

The trend after this series will be to go back to the old style clutch and grab rasslin hockey of the 70s and each team will once again have a resident goon to protect the stars. If Crosby got the abuse that the Sedins get the opposing players would all be constantly penalized. Or beaten. Not so in these games. The league is after the head shots but losing sight of the rest of the brutality of the game.

I was hoping hockey was going in the right direction to show off the speed, skill and finesse but I think not. I think the psychology of the game is regressing.

I wonder if Dave Semenko is available? Can you imagine the line? Sedin - Sedin - Semenko.
Reprisal on ice.

Go Canucks go anyway.
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This Boston Bruins Fan is GREAT!

Feel Good Video

It's not all doom and gloom.

The Liberal NOTs

The BC Liberals are tired of being BC Liberals. 

They are seeking a new name. Something catchy that will fool you into believing they are not the same old faces that pulled all those tricks and cheats on you. They want to present new images.

So they don't want you to see those same old faces of deception that you're so familiar with.
Gives new meaning to the term bagmen, doesn't it?
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In case you didn't get the email ....

that is going around right now .... and have cash in your pocket .... and you feel you want to help the less fortunate .... and are looking for a respectable charity to donate to .... here are a few numbers to look at.
Of major charities, a few of the salaries and perks to the bosses;

UNICEF - The CEO, receives $1,200,000 per year, plus a Rolls Royce for his exclusive use where ever he goes, and an expense account that is rumored to be well over $150,000. Only pennies from the actual donations goes to the UNICEF cause, less than $0.14 per dollar of income.
YOU give a dollar, the charity actually only gets fourteen cents for whomever those poor people are!
Unicef has been on top of this list for 11 years!

The American Red Cross - President and CEO Marsha J. Evans, took a salary for the year ending in 2009 of $651,957 plus expenses. She also enjoys 6 weeks fully paid holidays including all related expenses during the holiday trip for her husband and kids. including 100% fully paid health and dental plan for her and her family. .... for life. This means out of every dollar they bring in, about $0.39 goes to related charity causes.
That was 39 CENTS!

The United Way - The third worst offender for the 7th time was President Brian Gallagher's charity, who receives a $375,000 base salary, plus so many numerous expense benefits it's hard to keep track as to what it is all worth, including a fully paid lifetime membership for 2 golf courses in Canada and the U.S.A., 2 luxury vehicles, a yacht club membership, 3 major company gold credit cards for his personal expenses etc ad nauseum.
This equates to about $0.51 per dollar of income that actually gets to charity causes.

World Vision - President (Canada) receives $300,000 base salary, plus is supplied an 800 hundred thousand dollar home, completely furnished, paid all housing expenses, including taxes, water/sewer, telephone/fax, HD/high speed cable, weekly maid service and pool/yard maintenance, fully paid private schooling for his children, upscale automobile and an $55,000 personal expense account for clothing/food, with a $125,000 business expense account.
And consider this, because it is a "religious based" charity, it pays little to no taxes, can receive government assistance and does not have to declare were the money goes! Only about $0.52 of earned income per dollar is available for charity causes. The goodness of your dollars toward this charity is in jeopardy.

Disheartening isn't it?  No .... more like appalling!
You feel benevolent but your money disappears into a system of administration. And administrators.
But you want to help that scraggly guy shuffling out of the lane with his shopping cart, with all his possessions crammed in or brimming over. He, (or SHE*) is only trying to survive one more day, they don't see ahead further than that. It's not about holidays or cars or stock options. Just food and survival.
Keep in mind that if you give him five bucks, 100% of that cash goes to HIM. He will administer your donation far better than a cool CEO will.

And if your resistant answer is that he'll spend the money on drugs or booze, ask yourself what the above CEOs will be spending YOUR hard earned dollars on?
Share.

But there IS a kicker to this post. Not all is lost. Here's one more charity that wants your money ....


The Salvation Army - Commissioner Todd Bassett received a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 Billion dollar organization. Which means about $0.93 per dollar earned, is readily available and goes back out to local charity causes. Ninety-three cents of every dollar you give to the Sally-Anne. Ninety-three cents!
So don't get angry at those tinkling bells at Christmas time any more, and drop a few bucks into that red pot. You WILL be doing some good for the less fortunate.


So if you didn't get that email going around, now you know. This is my email to everyone. It's not spam, it'll be here, you cannot delete it. It is a shameful sad truth about where your compassionate money goes.
Yes they have cherry picked the organizations. Yes the figures may be disputable and they may be somewhat outdated or skewed, but the facts remain that charities are capable of eating up almost the whole total of your kind donation long before any help reaches the country, street or person whom your gesture was meant for.
So give where it counts, and don't wait till Christmas, do some good for your own soul now.

Have a closer look here at Charity Navigator -
http://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=studies.ceo
(one of the fun items on this site is the page on the salaries of the relatives of CEOs of charitable organizations)

In Vancouver - Union Gospel Mission - http://www.ugm.ca/

 * the percentage of women of homelessness is estimated at anywhere from 15 to 30 percent. And the studies available are way outdated.
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Model controversy rises again

At a time when teen suicides are on the rise. And damaged psyches are blamed. And self image is a huge reason for teenaged girls to be in a depression about their direction in life. And their position in various social standings may be in doubt in their own minds. The idea of ultra skinny models has always been held as a major factor in a teenaged girl's body image.

And along comes The Bay with an ad featuring a frighteningly thin girl as their clothing model.
Modeling agencies have been under fire for years now for encouraging this look. The camera gains weight, they say. You are too fat, etc.
Perhaps moving some young girls to gasp at their own mirror every morning when the real image of a young woman should be the healthy, robust picture looking back at them.

We know nothing about the young woman here. She is merely trying to make a dollar. But is she suffering anorexia? Did she diet to lose weight? Was she encouraged to do so? Does she smoke to keep the pounds off?
That is not a natural woman or an athletic body, it is one that needs to have some advice from a doctor, an MD and perhaps a psychologist too.

Kate Winslet successfully sued a tabloid for morphing her thinner as misrepresenting her. Jamie Lee Curtis bravely did a full magazine spread  to show a true look and refute the Hollywood image of herself. Maxim magazine once morphed Lucy Lawless into a 90 pound woman who could sleep in a picket fence! And we all know that Xena was actually robust, strong, dangerous AND beautiful!

(She needed to be to pack all that leather and weaponry around!)

When the effects of body image are so detrimental among young women as to be a factor in teenaged suicides, one would think the Bay would have had a closer look at the models and modeling agency representing their image too. After all, they are selling the corporate brand as well as the clothing.

One wonders who's psyche is really damaged?


Shame on the Bay.

Master Bates - new medical studies.

In Health News: - Restless Leg Syndrome? Hay Fever? Parkinson's Symptoms? Prostate cancer?
There is help for these problems suggested from new health studies.

Are you suffering? Does your leg want to go walking at midnight after you tuck into bed? You want to pick wildflowers in that field but keep sneezing the petals off? Your arm is jiggling involuntarily and you're spilling your gin? You're not sure if your pooper is working properly?
Masturbate.

RLS is a distressing neurological disorder characterized by an urge to move the legs. It is usually associated with unpleasant sensations in the lower limbs such as tingling, aching and itching. Brain autopsies and imaging studies suggest one contributing factor of RLS is an imbalance of dopamine, the hormonal messenger that activates the areas of the brain responsible for pleasure. There IS a solution.
Masturbate.

In Spring a young man's fancy turns to ... er ... masturbation? There may be a quick and pleasurable treatment to clear those tingling noses, for guys at least – a well-timed ejaculation.
A blocked nose is caused by swollen and inflamed nasal blood vessels, irritated by floating air-borne pollen. But during ejaculation, the sympathetic nervous system constricts blood vessels across the body. That soothes the nasal blood vessels, freeing the airway for normal breathing. The logic behind the proposal is based on the fact that the nose and the genitals are both connected to the same part of the nervous system which  controls certain reflexes – the sympathetic nervous system.
Masturbate.

Parkinson's. It is suspected that dopamine imbalance is also responsible for some of the symptoms of Parkinson's disease; tremors, sluggish movements, rigid muscles and impaired posture and balance. Research doctors speculate that the release of orgasm-related dopamine might play a role in the alleviation of these symptoms. An orgasm provides one of the biggest natural blasts of dopamine available to us. So if you lose your balance and fall down, you know what to do.
Masturbate.

Prostate cancer worries? Your doctor has huge fingers? You have sphincter issues?
The protective effect of masturbation is greatest while men are in their twenties: those who had ejaculated more than five times per week in their twenties, for instance, were one-third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer later in life.
But why should ejaculating more often cut the risk of prostate cancer? The scientific teams speculate that ejaculation prevents carcinogens building up in the gland. (these carcinogens, by the way, can accumulate from second hand cigarette smoke) The prostate, together with the seminal vesicles, secretes the bulk of the fluid in semen. A prostatic stagnation hypothesis (try to stay with me on this) says that the more you flush the ducts out, the less there is to hang around and damage the cells that line them.
Masturbate.

So now you know that there is self help available, the five knuckle shuffle becomes important to your future health. Important, I said. The action no longer involves going blind at all. And you don't have to be prostrate to save your prostate. In fact parents need to encourage youngsters in the implementation of the practice as routine for future benefits, like brushing regularly.
"Jimmy, it's time for your health event, here's your Dad's Playboy, go into your room."
And you no longer need to shout "Reeeecolaaaa." from that Swiss alpine sward. Just sit down amid the pretty blooms and alleviate your symptoms.

If these findings are confirmed, future health advice from doctors may no longer be restricted to diet and exercise. Masturbation is part of a man's sexual repertoire, it is beneficial to use it.

In conclusion it's perfectly reasonable that males should be encouraged to masturbate. Flog your log. Beat your meat. Battle the helmet warrior. Pound your pud. Burp the worm. Clear your snorkel. Mangle the mute muppet.
So if you are going to tweak your twinkie, you may be saving the health system thousands of dollars in later life medical costs.
No detrimental effects have been found to this therapy yet. And of course diet and exercise in public is okay. But if you choose this new method for looking after your health in public, the costs of legal fees could eliminate the savings. The police don't hesitate to toss a healthy man into jail. That IS a detrimental effect. ("BOTH hands in the air, Sir!") The scenarios are endless ...

"What are you doing in there, man?"
"Flushing out my carcinogens."
"Okay, a health nut."

"Oh Honey, you got me a subscription to a men's health magazine, Penthouse, how nice. You still have that headache?"

"Tonight I'm going on a date with Handrea."

Masturbate. It's good for you.

Back later, I'm heading for the optometrist and the carpel tunnel specialist.

Radiation

What's going on in Japan? We hear a different tune radiating from Fukushima each day! The officials of the company operating the nuclear facility say the radiation levels are sky high. Then they say they were mistaken, they are low and not a risk to human health. Except perhaps babies! Then it changes again. Water, milk and food are becoming dangerous.

The Tokyo Electric Power Company (TEPCO) that runs the plants say they do not believe the levels are high enough to be considered a risk to human health. How can Plutonium in the air, soil and water not be a threat to health? One particle of Plutonium the size of a grain of sand can kill you with a lethal dose of radiation if inhaled or left on the skin. Is it any wonder Japanese people no longer Believe anything TEPCO says?
Now it is leaking into the seawater and flowing north. Officials say it is harmless.
Smoke comes out of crippled reactors, but it's okay, officials say. Then they withdraw workers. Then we are told something else. We begin to wonder if the motivation for these officials is to save their business or the people?


Now the International Maritime Organization, a United Nations agency, says  there is no medical basis for restricting shipping and that the waters are safe for shipping to pass the reactors on their way to Tokyo to unload containers!
And get this, officials tell us the radiation can be washed off your ship with soap and water!
WTF?!
Did you EVER see a ship being washed off with soap and water? Do you believe corporate owners of shipping lines will lift a finger to make those poor Indian and Filipino crewmen safe? Would they ever wash down their ships! With soap and water? How much would that cost? Do they believe that we, the world's population will say, it's okay, there is no radiation problem because they are going to wash their ships off! How gullible do they think we are?


When you wash your hands with soap and water the germs go down the drain. Where the &$#@ do they think the radiation will go after 'washing' these ships? And once the containers are refilled with TVs for North America, will they wash the containers too? Before our dock workers handle them?

Isn't it time we fired all the so called OFFICIALS and got someone else to monitor the problem? We can't trust these guys, they want to get back to opening their plants again when they should be sealed forever!
Obama let us down on the BP Gulf Oil spill by letting BP off the hook to monitor itself. And they only gave us lie after lie! What a joke! He should have seized the assets of British Petroleum to pay for the costs of watch-dogging them.
And some say it is still leaking in the gulf! And lying on the bottom so we can't see it.
So are we supposed to believe these Japanese officials too?
I don't think so.

We have so many instances of corruption in corporate facilities which influence the public that officials cannot be trusted. Look around your own local area and it is not hard to find instances harmful to you and your family. Yet corporations carry on with impunity. Trusting that their lobbyists and politicians on the company payroll will get them through the bad public relations. These incidents are far worse than bad PR, yet that is how they are treated.

Something needs to be done.  Something drastic to get the attention of the corporate hegemony.
We need to wash these officials' mouths out with soap and water. Or worse. Make them work alongside the workers trying desperately to solve the problems.



We need to hold them responsible and stop allowing them to wriggle off the hook of public accountability.

4 AM Cowboy

I was awake this morning at 4 AM. My little transistor radio battery was dying. It would only bring in a cowboy station. So I listened. Lulled at first until the lyrics began to register.
One song was a lament from a boy remembering getting kicked out of his home at 12 years old. Another was a sad recollection of all the things that woman had done to him. Then one of a guy who lent his wife the pickup truck and she stopped it on the railroad tracks. He was really in sorrow, even more so when he learned that she had jumped clear! Cowboys and depression seem to go together.
No wonder those guys were depressed up there on Brokeback Mountain. You can only look at clouds and sheep for so long until you turn to the next warm body in the sleeping bag.

CW lyrics are aimed at depression;
you're a redneck heartbreak ....  so hard living here on my own .... bad ridin' cowboy .... for 43 dollars my friend lost his life .... I've been burned, I've been cheated .... you can hide your tears, you can cry in the dark .... death is waiting for its dance .... my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

OMG, of course they're so depressing.
Cowboys have a rough time of it. Used to be just get out there and ride the fences, rope a lil dogie and dance and drink some whisky. Not now, they're filled with all kinds of guilt and regret.
Just look at their lives; they never get the girl any more. They ride ATVs instead of horses. Their bar has been taken over by some bling guy named Tiffany Dean. The train doesn't even run through town these days!  Their six gun is outpowered by a Glock and their hat only holds four gallons. What's a cowboy to do but lament?

Cowboys can't even go to Texas now because someone else's exes all live there and you know what exes are like. Rodeo Drive is off limits unless you have Tony Lama boots. And cow poop stuck under the heel just doesn't fly. Alberta is frozen up most of the year and so are the steers. And Hiyo Silver just means the silver market is up 20 points!

Cowboys need a break. Happy songs. Maybe I'll write one. Call it Contented Cowboy. It would go something like this:


Drivin' with my Babe in my pickup truck,
she love the fresh air back there in the box.
Headin' for my bar an' with a little bit of luck,
we'll drink all night unaware of the clocks.

Ol' Rover dawg beside me on the passenger seat,
gotta get a move on I hear a choo choo train.
My Babe wears a mini skirt and lookin` so sweet,
got a Bud between my knees and feelin`no pain.

Gonna dance all night, have some fun with my friends,
snuggle with my Babe, have her body next to mine.
Win a game of poker, till the big money ends
get the cash inside my pocket, feelin mighty fine.

Put my foot to the floor, get this ol`Ford goin`
Gotta get to that crossin, before the red lights flash.
Dawg just a howlin`, rain and wind now blowin`
Locomotive got there first .... cowboy got the crash.

Sorry, I just couldn`t help it. Cowboys are just stupid.


copyright caterwauler 2010

Revive DORD!

In 1939 a ghost word was outed from its hiding place on page 771 in the New Websters International Dictionary.
That word was Dord. Which had started life when the lexicon's chemistry editor used the four letters, 'D' or 'd', for a note that was an abbreviation for density in chemistry terms.
A ghost word comes into language as a typo or some other mistake.
A misinterpretation saw the note being read as Dord, meaning density. It was then registered as a noun and added at the time, where it languished for five years within the cozy D pages of the tome until it was finally noticed by a studious editor in 1939 to have no etymology and after an investigation was banished. A world war was starting and this guy was looking for obscure little D words?

Banished. But Dord was innocent. Didn't ask to be born into the respected, hallowed realm of Websters. Dord was only the Eliza Doolittle thrust into the cultured library of Professor Henry Higgins. Dord was not given the chance to become something. To be refined by 'enry 'iggens into a Fair Lady. (there was a colour in the 70s called Enry Iggins Just You White.)

Perhaps, with a little bit of luck Dord could still mean a form of density. It sounds right if we use it for a dense person, as in, "He's a dord."
And still following the density thread, it could mean an intricate entanglement. Like those financial bank criminals involved in a labyrinth of crimes. "They are in a dord of trouble."
It could mean a reverse density, like a Dalmation dog which are said to have no brains, "He's as dordy as a Dalmation."
Maybe even find it's way into song? 'Lordy Lordy Lordy you're a dordy!' What could Bob Dylan do with dord?

Whatever it is used to represent, dord should be revived. We have been unfair to it. We could refer to it right now, after all these years, as 'dormant as a dord.' But that might be cruel.
It should become the Little Word that Could. We need more four letter words, banish deutomerite if you must. It means, the posterior segment of the trophozoite of certain gregarines. .... er, no one even eats gregarines any more!

After over seventy years. dord needs to reappear. Perhaps we could elevate the poor word somehow, get Stephen Hawking to assign the meaning of a human impulse flashing across the universe as a Dord! Now that would give it dignity.

We have lost too many life things by meddling with them. Pluto is gone from our space in an unsuffering swoop. The Passenger Pigeon is extinct. Malaya, with it's wonderful suggestion of British rubber plantations and Oriental intrigue is no more. And whatever happened to Oswald Rabbit?
Other trembling dords are hiding in the crevices of our history. They don't reside on the street where you live. What's next? Being embrangled in a vilipend of fusby words?

Perhaps the niddering people who commit these indecencies should be called Dords and be banished themselves.

Revive Dord. It's important.

.

Today in History - - - February 15

Canada's flag.
1965, our Maple Leaf banner was finally adopted on this day.
The description; 2 vertical bands of red (hoist and fly side, half width), with white square between them; an 11-pointed red maple leaf is centered in the white square; the official colours of Canada are red and white.

When it first came into existence, I thought it needed more colours. Blue or green to represent our three seas and constant forests. But now, whenever I travel, the red and white stands out like a beacon.  It is particularly lovely to see when you are far from home. And it is outstanding amid any crush of colour, in any congested city, easy to see, with a welcoming flutter, promising a cordial reception no matter what country I am in.
Now I can`t see our great flag being any other design or colour.

I used to live in a high rise downtown. Twenty-five stories up. I could see about 280 degrees of other buildings. I counted the red flags every few months and was always dismayed at the lack of Maple Leafs flying. We need to be more patriotic about our standard, whatever the woes of our nation, it is still the best place in the world to be.
Be proud.

F 150 - such confusion

The Ford Motor Company believes there might be confusion between their Ford F150 pick up truck and the new Ferrari F150 formula one car.
"Ford Motor Co sued luxury automaker Ferrari on Wednesday for trademark infringement after Ferrari named its 2011 Formula 1 racing car the 'F150.'
Ferrari's F150 apparently bears striking resemblance to certain parts of the Ford F-150 pickup truck.

'Ferrari has misappropriated the F-150 trademark in naming its new racing vehicle the F150 in order to capitalize on and profit from the substantial goodwill that Ford has developed in the F-150 trademark,'  Ford said in a complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Detroit."

So .... we are to believe that someone going to buy a Ford F150 pickup might inadvertently buy a Ferrari F150 instead because of the resemblance? Well no wonder Ford is angry. 

But let's look at the comparison:

- The Ford seats 2. Or three if your girlfriend has a girlfriend and she's not too tubby. Or 14 family members if you live in Arkansas. The Ferrari only seats 1.
- The Ford will just go fast enough to bump into things. The Ferrari could shoot off into space if you press the gas pedal too hard.
- You can tailgate in the Ford on the way to work at the mill. There is no one ahead of you in the Ferrari.
- You can have your cousin? in the back playing his banjo in the Ford. Even if you could in the Ferrari, you wouldn't know what he played until you stopped and the sound caught up.
- In the Ford you'll have your possum hunting buddies growling approval and saying 'Hey.' In the Ferrari the Tifosi will worship you and be screaming bellisimo! And the Ford guys just think those Italians are gay anyhow.
- You can store your gun under the front seat of the Ford. The Ferrari won't even accommodate your Platinum American Express card.
- In the Ford you can drive over bumpy back roads just to watch your babe's boobs jiggle. No back roads for the Ferrari and when the girls flash you at Monza, you won't see them anyway.
- In the Ford you can eat burgers while driving, even if you only have 3 teeth left. In the Ferrari if you open your mouth your teeth will be sucked out the back of your head!
- In the Ford the radio only plays Willie Nelson. The Ferrari itself plays Pavarotti.
- In the Ford you can cook roadkill on the manifold and have dinner ready when you get to the bar. In the Ferrari ... er ... if you ask for blanco vino Chianti they throw you out of the bar!
- In the Ford you can lay in a sheet of plastic in the box, fill it with wet mud and have girlie fights in there. In the Ferrari ....

Well, you get the point.  The Ford wins hands down and they rightly don't want Ferrai horning in on their sales. What would happen if these F150 Ferraris became popular on Ford's name?

..... um ....

Sorry, I can't think on that any longer. But it does say something about the Ford executives who brought this lawsuit to court, and their view of their own customers. I think the Ford guys are still angry at the drive Enzo took Henry Ford II on in the sixties and made him poop his pants.

Me? I'm looking for a red Edsel.  There's no mistaking that car for ANYTHING else.

a red Ford?

Oh, by the way, the Ford costs about $40,000. , the Ferrari will set you back about 3 million. IF they'll sell you one. Hard to confuse that part. 

Today in History . . . January 14

1967. A human be-in, the counterculture gathering was born in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park. This marked the explosion of the so called Hippie movement. This so-called happening became an event worthy of mainstream news and launched be-ins echoing throughout North America. Which became 'sit-ins' of protest, 'teach-ins' organized by students seeking democracy, and 'tune in, turn on and drop out' slid into the Summer of Love.  Love-ins enticed and Laugh-ins, made us laugh.
This event, the be-in, led into the Vietnam war protests, Make Love not War became the international password as some sought to make the world a better place to live-in.
And some of that mentality seems today, to be repeating itself, except it is now expressed in bits and bytes on blogs, facebook and Twitter, from the safety and comfort of our home computers. One wonders how another summer of love could happen without face to face recognition?
The powers that be are still forcing wars on other countries to bring them a distorted version of democracy and make them better places based on a parochial view of what a better place is.  Whether they like it or not.
A generation later the cycle of love and war has only returned to 1967 with a 2011 technological aspect. 
Sadly it is love that has lost the war.

HST and the film business in BC

Recently Mr. John Winter, the CEO of the BC Chamber of Commerce was on the Bill Good show, pimping the HST. He wants the vote to go later so they (whoever 'they' are) will have time to turn the people around into voting FOR it. During this interview, Mr Winter, when questioned on exactly WHAT business is already influenced favorably by the HST, said the BC film business was an example. Others have commented that the HST will be good in the future.
However Mr. Winters has NO idea what he is talking about or how the film industry operates. and is only promoting the same deception that the Liberal government has been telling us about for months now.

The first deception is that the HST has resulted in more production business for the film industry in BC. That could not be further from the truth! I am not disputing that the HST, in the future, could affect film production here in BC, but all the film and TV business that we have going here has been planned for months, and in Feature Film production, most likely YEARS ahead.

Mr. Winters and other promoters of the Liberal party would have you believe that the HST was announced, and Hollywood THEN decided to write and produce films and TV in BC, as if was an instant project when EVERYONE in the film business KNOWS that these projects take YEARS to get going! (How many films have you heard that take 10 years to get into production?)
So literally every production currently shooting in BC was planned long ago and has NO RELATIONSHIP TO THE HST.

Future productions may be considering it in their planning, but John Winter and others shouldn't try to get credit for what people who are actually IN the film business in BC have already done for years in getting film production here! And we already have a thriving green industry going on in BC.
There are several reasons why we have vibrant film production here:
- we have year around shooting weather
- we have absolutely competant crews
- we are only a 3 hour flight from Los Angeles
- we are in the same time zone
- we have huge variety in locations all close to, or in Vancouver
- we have an active and talented acting community
- we have established and respected casting people
- we have many good sound stages and production facilities
- we have pre production knowledge and ability second to none
- we are already cost effective in how we do things

... and artistically, to quote Chris Carter, producer of X Files, we have that wonderful Vancouver light!

So Mr Winter and others; Do what you want with your spin about the HST, but don't try to undermine the work done by others who have worked very hard for many years to build our successful film industry.

Top news stories of 2010

Mainstream news for 2010 in no order:

The Chilean Miners. We all let this story slip away for a while after we first heard about the thirty-three men trapped almost 3 MILES below the surface. Then when they began drilling down, made contact and we learned they were all alive, we paid rapt attention. But still weren't hopeful a rescue could happen and waited with our hearts in our mouths.
Yet the important part of this story was that the Chileans, planned, executed and solved the problems themselves by using Chilean Navy engineers to design and build an ingenious 'inner space capsule' with only inches of clearance. They proudly proved their own talented people could implement the fantastic netherworld rescue effort without a single loss of life .... while we all watched LIVE on CNN from a Chilean TV news feed.
The world sigh of relief when the last man emerged moved the Earth a millimeter off it's axis and we all loved the Chileans. It was a totally shared story.
PS; This event revealed, that other countries in the world are competent and do not need the USA to always come and save them.

The Gulf Oil Blowout.  This tragedy unfolded as we watched helplessly. Polluting the undersea with billowing clouds of crude oil before it was stopped. (if it actually was) It also signaled the fact that even the President of the United States is no longer in charge over corporations. When we expected Obama to take charge with some furious and positive action by bringing in the Navy or taking over the assets of British Petroleum, he stood meekly by while they were allowed to make one excuse after another to explain why they were not prepared in the first place. Whatever fines or results happen now to BP will be paid by the people of America in higher gasoline prices. And they'll only be filling BP's cash tank. Oil companies now rule the world. The environmental issue is yet to be fully assessed.
PS; The EXXON corporation still has not paid the fines after their Alaska Valdez oil spill disaster in 1989.

WikiLeaks.org.  The web whistleblower organization released thousands of diplomatic cables relating mostly to embarrassing things American diplomats might have said about their contemporaries.  Otherwise the revelations about the Iraq war were nothing that we didn't already suspect or know about by having seen video posts by soldiers in the war areas to YouTube! Those videos dispute the ability of so called 'embedded' reporters to file the truth in a war situation.
The US struck back quickly in the web world info wars by making out that the leaked news was endangering soldier's lives. The fight for free speech goes on with the enigmatic Julian Assange arrested and the US trying to figure out how to shut down WikiLeaks without more info being aired.  But WikiLeaks, having foreseen this probability, had placed ironclad buffers in the way of predators who might be trying to control the world wide web, and has since been aided by more than 2000 mirror sites! Expect this fight to continue. Meanwhile the wars themselves in Iraq and Afghanistan have become secondary to the news about how they are being conducted. WikiLeaks continues to operate and the powers that be continue to shoot the messenger.
PS; The soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan are now forbidden from having digital cameras and flash drives and have limited web access. 

Tiger Woods.   Just when the whole Golf TV industry had made the transition from 75 year old watchers to a younger demographic, Tiger goes and crashes into a tree, outside his house, and before the police can arrive, Elin, his wife, comes out and does a nine iron job on his head. In the frantic aftermath of this turmoil, it is revealed that Tiger, who never said a word that wasn't monitored and pre-approved by his handlers, is found out to have a girlfriend. And then another. And another. And as yet probably many more undiscovered waitresses and chambermaids. He takes off for some anti-stress leave aboard his billion dollar yacht. During which Elin leaves him with the other half of his fortune.
He returns to the tee and does poorly on the golf courses, and has lately embraced Buddhism to get him through the sunny fairway days and hopefully back to a winning mode. Why Buddhism? Maybe he likes the saffron robes?  Maybe they don't restrict his swing?
Perhaps his handlers have figured out that it WAS the barmaids and lusty laundry ladies who helped his game and will arrange for live-in kitchen help or an upstairs maid. The only ones on Tiger's side seem to be those macho pickup truck drivers who don't actually golf but do know roadside diner waitresses.
Does anyone see a reality show here?
PS; One wonders if the Augusta National Golf Club has any more black members than the janitor they hastily signed up when it was first revealed that while Tiger Woods could play there, they had no black membership?

North Korea.  The leader that everyone made fun of, Kim Jong Il, (you know, the one with big-silly-head syndrome) has handed down control of the country as his father did, to his son, Jong-un. Jong-un promptly shelled a South Korean island off his coast, to flex his pasty muscles, killing two people and almost sending the country into another Korean War, even a world war. The situation was tense.
South Korea replied with live fire maneuvers. The tension rose. The US sent the aircraft carrier USS George Washington, and is committed to helping South Korea and indeed, still has 28,000 American troops in that country! China has military support obligations to the North Koreans.
Then the tension suddenly dissipated as the US realized it had thousands of corporate business connections working in China and owed the Chinese so many trillions of dollars that a war would be disastrous. And China realized that they are now the only ones supporting the US economy and a war meant they wouldn't get their money. Ahh, much better.
Just both of you North-South children get along now.
So China goes on building into the new world leader and controller of America and the US goes on printing money to pay them for their toxic goods. Peace again.
PS; No news media mentions that the Chinese government is still the same old communist system and that the US government is that same old democracy they are trying to instill all around the world. Shhh.

Haiti Earthquake. A 7.0 magnitude earthquake devastates the capital, Port-au-Prince, and kills 230,000 people. A worldwide effort moves to help the desperate slum dwelling people. Countries, doctors, nurses, movie stars, rescue organizations, all try to stem the death toll. No one places any blame on the existing government for allowing the conditions to exist that made this tragic event's consequences possible.
The history of the corrupt rich dominating the poor in that country goes on. And traces way back to the rule of Papa Doc Duvalier, who ruled by his own militia, cults, voodoo and violence by the dreaded Tontons Macoutes, Haiti's secret police. In spite of the world wide effort the country is descending into confusion, disease and more corruption. French speaking countries continue to pour money into Haiti, in vain hopes that it will keep the language alive. But no one knows where it goes.
PS; This story was told in 1967 in a movie starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton called The Comedians. Nothing has changed since.


Vancouver Winter Olympics.  Own the podium was a precarious slogan. In the past our athletes were lucky to even see a podium, but when Alex Bilodeau ran the icy hill in Whistler to his gold medal, we were thrilled. Then another and another, until we had an electric feeling that lasted the whole 17 days and totaled 26 medals! Our hearts were truly glowing and we thought the best was the haul; 5 bronze, 7 silver and best of all, 14 gold, more than any other country competing! We DID own the podium.
But there was the one thing that made it all perfect. Hockey. Canada is the force of  hockey in the world. It would have been all a bust without gold in hockey. And Roberto Luongo scared the hell out of us, letting in a tying goal in the last 21 seconds, sending the game into overtime!
They say the greatest athletes love being down. They love needing to come back from the brink, because they have imagined that scenario since they were children. That magic moment when they are the one who wins it all. And Syd the Kid said it himself, 'Every boy who played street hockey has been in the final game with it all on the line.'  Sydney Crosby made up his mind and wrote the ending himself.
Gold in Hockey in a Canadian Winter Olympics! Oh Canada!
PS; The streets of Vancouver were like a 60s hippie love-in. Us older folks had Expo 86 as their greatest party. Now a new generation got theirs in 2010. Will there ever be another moment of that pride?

News that should have been mainstream:

Truth Suppression. World wide investigative reporting continues to decline. Newspapers continue to be condensed into fewer owners. TV news stations report entertainment and 'stories'. Governments and corporations control and decide the news. Institutions, scientists, investigators speaking out the truth are insulted, chagrined, vilified, and molested.
And in the most extreme cases, murdered.
To date, in Iraq and Afghanistan, 139 independent reporters, those who are NOT embedded with a military group and must find their own way around, and dig out their own truths, have been killed. Often under mysterious circumstances. Even respected journalists from prestige news organizations like Reuters. That fact should be on the front page of every newspaper in North America. WikiLeaks should not have to be the one to 'reveal' it.
Truthful information that gets to the people is diminishing. The consequences of this shift are yet to be determined.


Already forgotten;

- the vuvuzela
- Berlusconi and Sarkozy's escapades
- H1N1 influenza pandemic
- a new arsenic based life form discovered in California
- Texas schoolbook maker rewriting American history
- Lady Gaga's meat
- Global warming
- George W. Bush

Wishing the best to all in 2011.

Liberal wannabes circle the wagons

Solicitor General Rich Coleman is supporting Kevin Falcon for the leadership of the BC Liberal party.  If they were having a hamburger together, would a conversation go like this?

Rich -  "We circle the wagons, the public is starting to ask questions about our participation in the BC Rail scam! We can't let any more of this get out, Kevin."
Kevin - "Yeah, Gordo was pretty smart, after all those years of the BC Rail trial, stopping it before Gary Collins could testify."
Rich - "Well it was a trust issue, we didn't know if we could count on Gary to lie ...."
Kevin - "Hey, he's a Lieberal isn't he? That's a joke."
Rich - ".... Didn't wanna bet on Collins or Clark, even if I am in charge of gambling, oops er, gaming."
Kevin - "Ok Rich. You going to eat that second burger?"
Rich - "Yeah I am."
Kevin - "What about Kristy?"
Rich - "Oh hell, Kristy is trying to bury the scandal too, she is involved for chrissakes! So no problem there."
Kevin - "Yeah? You think?"
Rich - "Look, in the debate, you gotta scare her off, say something like, 'my Basi is not Virking today' that oughta do it."
Kevin - "And George Abbott?"
Rich - "Kevin, he's a joke, the only thing he is lacking is Costello. We'll we save him for the apology afterward, he is so good at it, having done it for the past few years! I heard his neighbor ran over his foot with a power mower and George just said he was sorry! Har har har."
Kevin - "Rich, I'm glad you chose to support me over Kash Heed."
Rich - "Well the Rich-Kash team sounded just too, uh, too Gordon Campbellish, you know, smacks of money and secret bank accounts."
Kevin - "You gonna finish all those chips?"
Rich - "Yeah I am."
Kevin - "Good thing we've got Vaughn Palmer and Keith Baldrey on side, they are deflecting a lot of this for us."
Rich - "That's great. And Bill Good is great too, you can count on him to ask innocuous questions."
Kevin - "Even then you don't have to answer."
Rich - "Stay away from that Bill Thielemen though. NDP spokesman. Hey waitress! Can I get another burger over here?"
Kevin - "Fast ferries fast ferries! ha ha!"
Rich - "How much longer can we milk that one? But it keeps the people off the 430 million dollar German ferry stuff. And it's a good chant when they start asking about the salaries of BC Ferries execs."
Kevin - "I even chanted it when they asked about BC Rail exec salaries!"
Rich - "But we still got a BC Rail, that's the point."
Kevin - "Wait'll they find out BC Hydro's only gonna be a tropical fish tank somewhere."
Rich - "Har har."
Kevin - "Hey Rich, what about that new guy who's writing shit about us? That Alex G. Tsakumis guy with the blog?"
Rich - "Shh! Keep that one quiet, he is doing the investigative reporter's job, exposing stuff. People might Google him at http://alexgtsakumis.com/ and find out more true crap."
Kevin - "Yeah. Ok. Hey Rich, does my hair look cool? I mussed it some more. Going for the young vote."
Rich - "Not too much more though, you're beginning to look like Emo Phillips. Kevin, can I ask you something? You really didn't know the Skytrain up Cambie was going underground?"
Kevin - "Here comes your burger."

The only question remaining is whether Kevin will start calling Rich Coleman, Unca Richie.

Hard to be apolitical

I'm trying to stay away from political stuff. It's just too depressing. Too infuriating.
Every time you turn around there is another instance or event that irritates you because it pushes against your sense of reason. You wonder what really is the modern definition of integrity nowadays?
But the daily revelations of how stupid our whole political system has become drives one to the keyboard, if only to make a small protest. A mewl in the night. Ineffective and probably unheard amid the din of spin but still out there somewhere.
Not very satisfying.

The latest is the Conflict of Interest Commissioner for BC, Paul Fraser's ruling on a question regarding Gordon Campbell. Gordon, our shamed premier. attended a Bilderberg meeting in Spain. He spent 8700. dollars of taxpayer money getting there.

If you don't know already, Bilderberg meetings are totally secret. No one actually knows what they discuss, promise or make covert deals about.
But the attendees have been suspect for a long time now, illustrious or infamous people have gone. The list can be read as a glitterari of famous and powerful people in the world, or a who's-who of suspected criminals against humanity. No one is sure what is on the yearly agenda and everyone seems to be sworn to secrecy.

As always, those who are shut out, begin their own speculations of what goes on behind the locked doors. That is a natural occurance of being outside peering in.
First and foremost is that they are plotting the New World Order. Which some construe as the emerging secret plan to rid the world of over 5 billion people. It is believed, by tongue slippage, that someone has determined that the optimum population of Earth should be about 500 million.
Of course this could be a noble goal. We need to sustain our planet. We're not far enough advanced yet to have another place to go. But because we are still not sure what these people are planning. Or plotting. So we guess.

Which brings me back to Paul Fraser. He has determined that Gordon Campbell has got intellectual stimulation from his Bilderberg meeting, and that will benefit us all. And so the $8700. of your money is well spent and he won't inquire into it any more. Of course Mr Fraser has no idea what kind of stimulation Mr Campbell could have gotten in Spain. So he, like the rest of us, assumes it is all good.
Nice to be optimistic like that. Look for the good in everyone. Sure.
I suppose the problem is with me. You can look at this like a Salvation Army meeting, where they are figuring out how to serve the poor. Or, you can look as if it is a meeting of the Jesse James gang, plotting to rob more banks.
Pessimism is not good.

But hey, it is Gordon Campbell we are talking about.
For the win.

Here's a lil conspiracy theory for you

Ever wonder why the Canucks have so many Friday or Sunday games?
Ever wonder why they hardly ever play on Saturdays on CBC Hockey Night in Canada? And even when they do, in between periods Don and Ron just continue commenting on how the Leafs or Canadiens played in the earlier games?
Ever wonder about who makes up the CBC telecast schedule?
Ever wonder if the Eastern Powers ever even think about the 'Colonies' out West?
Ever notice any of this?
Hmm.
Just sayin'.

More political speculations

The Liberals are winding through the gears up to speed.
Each potential aspiring candidate for the party leadership trying to figure out how to take himself/herself apart from anything previously bad in the history of BC politics. Hard to do.
An outsider might be the answer.
So Diane Watts seems to be the front runner. Being romanced by the Liberals right now. (With Gordon's approval of course, he's still going to CONTROL it all) If Diane loses her good (so far) senses and decides to take the job leading these scandalous criminals to more glory, then it will sadly change her fortunes and respect. If you put a good person in charge of a bunch of bad persons, they just don't suddenly get good. But it seems to be hers for the taking. A shoe in.
Speaking of shoes, Gucci shoes in particular. Don't count out Carole Taylor just because she took a job elsewhere. There is nothing to say any institution wouldn't gladly give up her contract to have her as an ally and Premier of this province. They would of course get huge benefit out of that too.
Kevin Falcon? Sorry for laughing, but he is the one who berated the Cambie merchants for complaining about losing their businesses over the Skytrain ditch. He actually said on TV that what are they bitching about, the Skytrain will be running right past their doors! Of course no one told poor IQ challenged Kevin that the train would stop at Broadway, then go UNDERGROUND to King Edward, therefore going past virtually ALL those merchants doors 30 feet UNDER them! LOL
Rich Coleman. Sorry again for laughing. He's the biggest lapdog Gordon ever had. A yes-man par excellence! Ready to go cheek to jowl with whomever has the 'investment' bucks. There is a status quo man if ever I saw one.
Kash Heed! Sorry for crying! Here is a guy who resigned from the West Van Police force under investigation, and has had several investigations since then! And he aspires to be leader of these Liberals. Some think he's a ready made criminal. On second thought, doesn't that make HIM the front runner? LOL
John van Dongen. Correct me if I am wrong, but did you ever see him on TV doing anything but apologizing for something? BZZZ ... Out.
Colin Hansen. Did you ever see anything but perpetual embarrassment on his face. And rightly so. CLANG ... Out.
Well, I could go on and on with the existing party people.
But Gary Collins is still out there. All squeaky clean and quiet. Remember he resigned amid the notorious Legislature Raid! And as FINANCE Minister too. He would have been expected to KNOW where the money was going. He could emerge into the arena again with a shiny new sword, ready to slay any fast ferries plowing towards Victoria. Except there may be a chink in his new armor already. Too many people are wondering what he would have said under oath? Does he know the truth and was about to tell? Would that tuth have crucified the whole party on one cross? Or one man on several crosses?
Alas we don't know. And you can bet any future Liberal government is going to continue burying these scandals 12 feet under the Cambie Skytrain.
.
Yet there is one more thing we need to consider - - - and that is, when Gordon Campbell's rating was the lowest in the history of any Premier anywhere, ever, only 9 % - - - the Liberal party endorsed Gordon Campbell by 84 %!
Telling us all that whatever their esteemed leader had done, no matter how bad he appeared, they backed him totally. Yes totally, I suspect that 16% of them were away at the time of the vote.
These are Liberals you know.

What's going on?

Wondering what is happening with our two political parties in BC right now?
Here is your answer :
NDP - Although well ahead in the current polls, it is doubtful if Carole James will lead them into the next election, however the heir apparent, Gregor Robertson seems to be shooting himself in the foot. Leaving the possibility of Mike Farnsworth as potential boss. But of course the NDP will never acknowledge this change so far ahead of an election. And it was the famous British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher who said, the polls only count the night before an election.
The same goes for the Liberals, presently in shambles over the distrust of Gordon Campbell to do anything but lie. But they know the game as well, and are willing to play it close to the vest, or should I say close to the sleeve where their extra aces are kept.
I know Carole Taylor SAYS she has no interest, but the Liberals need to hide her away out of the public eye until the day. So she cannot be asked about every political decision and make any faux pas. Her new contract with SFU as Chancellor is for three years. Coincidentally an election will take place at about the same time as her contract is up. And then she can announce that, 'Due to so many pressures from people who care so much about British Columbia, I have been induced to run in order to save the province from the unwashed hordes.' (have you heard it before?) Then she will probably shout, FAST FERRIES, 30 times and go buy herself new Gucci shoes.
The NDP will be hard pressed to keep any momentum they have now, going for such a long time as most of the local media is in support of the Liberals by their tacit silence and absence of pursuing answers to the ongoing corruption scandals of that party.
The only real question is whether Dianne Watts is smart enough to avoid all this and go to another party altogether? In most Liberal minds, she is the savior with the shining halo. But stepping into a party with a history of corruption and the Liberals who will still be there and unwilling to stand up for BC now, could be death to Dianne's promise for the future.
I wonder who the Marijuana party is hiding? Perhaps Marc Emery's jail time is a ploy to hide him away too? With a California pot referendum coming up .... hmm, it could all be legal by election time. And Jody Emery being eminently presentable. They make a nice couple in charge of BC, right? And they have nothing to lie about. Couldn't be any worse than it is now.
Well, who knows?

Today in History . . . October 17

Beer flowed through the streets of London on this day in 1814. But it wasn't a good thing.
In the 19th century, beer fermented for months at a time in huge vats that rested on the roof of the Horse Shoe Brewery on Tottenham Court Road and Oxford Street. Iron hoops which supported the largest vat, holding some 600,000 liters (160,000 gallons) of beer collapsed under the weight. The vat burst and all the beer came gushing out, causing the vats nearby to explode as well.
More than a million liters (265,000 gallons) of porter beer knocked down the 25-foot brick wall of the brewery and flooded the surrounding streets. Roofs collapsed and houses toppled. Nine people died, mostly due to drowning or from fatal injuries from passing timber.
One man died of alcohol poisoning, after drinking too much of the beverage! Neighborhood residents rushed out with mugs, pots and buckets to collect the free beer.
A lawsuit was brought against the brewery, but the London Beer Flood was ruled an Act of God and the brewery was not held legally responsible. Though it still isn't clear why God might have been angry about beer.
Yup, there can be 'too much of a good thing'.
Blimy, save a pint for me.

the new BC First party

So apparently there is a new political party in British Columbia just forming. Bad news for the BC Liberals as they believe it would siphon votes away from them. Which is the reason liberal hacks Keith Baldrey and Vaughn Palmer have already gone into high gear and started ridiculing the BC First Party.
On the Bill Good show recently, the quiescent Good allowed them to go after the BC First Party, even though the party is barely out of the crib. Good's way of subtle and tacit support of Gordon Campbell. (he thinks we don't notice) The duo proceded to go back 20 years to quote bad stuff about anyone they thought might threaten the reign of their leader. And of course they always scoff and chuckle at any efforts of Bill Vander Zalm as being a joke, in spite of his perpetual popularity.
Evidently Chris Delaney of HST referendum organizational fame is now associated with BC First. The Baldmer pair got him too, for being associated with too many teams over the years. But the Zalm, with his sunshine smile gets the media attention. Simple to some but ominous clouds on Gordon Campbell's horizon.

So what does the BC First Party have in mind? What SHOULD they have in mind? How does it get a start? And is it a backlash groundswell in spite of media denigration?
Usually in provincial elections, the clever back-room-Liberal-boys set the agenda, and the NDP falls right into their trap every time, ending up defending their own actions of years ago while none of the real issues that face British Columbians get consideration or even media time.
I have always said I would vote for the first party that states they will work on behalf of British Columbians first.

So what are MY issues?
The Enbridge pipeline for starters. Have you looked at the route? Across BC to Kitimat. This is a non starter if you get a map out. Look at the location and the narrow channels and many islands from the sea to the city. Check out Kitimat and ask yourself if you really want huge oil tankers navigating through a vulnerable BC wilderness? Exxon still has not paid their debt in Alaska. It is not if a tanker goes astray and spills, but when!
The party I vote for will have to address this concern. And what benefit British Columbians will really get from this export of Alberta oil to China?


Fish Farms. Does anyone still believe there is a benefit for British Columbians from these foreign owned (mostly from Norway) farms producing Atlantic salmon? Nobody in BC will eat the tasteless, pesticide laden, coloured with pigment, injected with hormones product. Even back in Norway these companies can't farm at sea, they must do it inland! So why don't WE have the same criteria to protect our fabulous wild salmon? Do you believe the Norwegians care about our fish? These are the folks still 'harvesting' whales! And the argument about threatening our own salmon and the lice problem is well documented if you care. And the Americans have just approved Frankensalmon, (Google it) it's only a matter of time until those Genetic Modifications appear in our waters! The only thing I want with the letters GM is a car!
My vote goes to the party that says these guys are outa here! Norway is close enough already.

Private Run-of-the-River power projects. Mr Campbell once told us he would not sell BC Hydro. However he is effectively by-passing it. No one answers the question of how this private power gets distributed and to who and at what real cost? It was been said that they will sell their power to BC Hydro. But at world rates? Why? And it has also been said that there is a time limit on the contracts, after which these foreign owned power producers can sell their power to California, for instance, no matter how badly WE might need it! Independent means just that. No one will clarify these contracts. Guys like Baldrey and Palmer dance around the issue. Gordon Campbell won't even talk about it. And it IS an issue when someone comes into OUR home and uses OUR resources for their private gain!
Sort of like someone coming into YOUR kitchen to bake bread for sale to others but YOU don't even get a loaf!
I'll vote for the party that says there will be restrictions on contracts to sell private power. It is still a licence to print money for them, but we need to control it closely.

In the case of BC Hydro, we have always had trusted and talented British Columbians running this resource. Until Gordon Campbell. And they ran it well, developing it into the jewel of BC. Would you be content to lose it? I think not. We lost our very own railroad because it didn't produce scads of money? Is money what we are all about now? The present government sold something that didn't belong to them.

And there are smaller issues with me. The government is always complaining about money. Yet it seems to me that in the case of trying to sell off our liquor control branch, and encouraging private liquor stores, we lost a huge volume of cash income for the province.
When we as the government sold ALL the liquor, we realized the benefit of the profit on EVERY bottle of liquor sold going into the coffers of BC. Now with the proliferation of private liquor stores, that profit goes into private pockets. A net loss for ourselves. And a smaller income for whatever projects we need to do. Seems counterproductive to me, even backward.

The powers that be keep telling us that these private corporations will go away if we don't give them what they want. Okay, but someone else will come next. We know it but the Campbell mentality seems to think not.
We need a new party that treasures our province. And negotiates from strength, not weakness. A party that promises it will build ships here for OUR people to benefit, not elsewhere for corporations and their shareholders! A party that promises to put BC first over private or secret considerations.
YOU are the shareholder here. YOU own the resources of this province. They should be in the public trust as assets for the future of OUR people, not foreigners. And guarded carefully and zealously. We are being raped and pillaged by private interests from outside of our borders. It is time to stop the invaders and send them packing. Contracts for British Columbia projects need to go to British Columbians first!
This is OUR home. Protect it. My vote will always go to the benefit of BC first! That is MY agenda, and the back room boys cannot distract me from it!

Search this blog for Big Head Syndrome.

New sex survey

The Journal of Sexual Medicine has just published a 130 page report on the orgasm habits of people aged 14 to 94! They found that there was an 'orgasm gap' in their study. Sheeez, isn't the gap from 14 to 94 enough?
But the new study suggests that it was a male-female gap in perceptions of orgasm, with 85 per cent of the men saying their latest sexual partner had an orgasm, compared with 64 per cent of women saying they did have one.

And what exactly did you expect from asking males? The truth? We're talking about men talking about their sexual prowess! Don't expect veracity.
I believe the study is 'in press' so we can't quite see it all just yet. But did we need a study to find out that 85 percent of men said their partner had an orgasm?
Men will always have won the fight when their opponent has gone home. Maybe ask them how many hookers gave them their money back too. The difference of 21% may be the lie-ability index. Men will say she had one no matter what. She either faked them out or they just don`t give a damn. I suspect the latter.

So the faux orgasm is alive and well and maybe even being improved upon.
Faking gained huge momentum since Meg Ryan's infamous restaurant scene. And she hadn't even got her burger yet!
Speaking of inducements. Any research between food and orgasms? Obviously a hamburger only gets you the Fake ala Meg. But would a steak get you the real one? What about a steak with chocolate on it?
And is there a correlation between orgasms and jewelry? I heard that women can have orgasms right there in the diamond store if the carat weight is right!

So when is the next study? I want to apply for a job there. That orgasm gap is the intriguing thing. One would expect a gap of about fourteen minutes for the 14 year old, but it probably disintegrates exponentially as you age. At ninety-four, you may be mostly watching and waiting, 94 DAYS is more like it.
And at that age, if you happen to get good wood, it is usually at 3:30 am and you dare not wake her up because she might be dreaming about bald headed mice in her bed! And that snore is designed to scare them off. The black wrath of the Bella Lugosi Dracula-Wolf is way too fearsome.
Well, all you can do is get up, go leave a pee, snuggle back in to your own dry dreams and hope the sun rises soon.

The researchers said they were struck by the variety of ways in which the subjects engaged in sex — 41 different combinations of sexual acts were tallied, encompassing vaginal and anal intercourse, oral sex, and partnered masturbation. No Kama Sutra here. What about the triple toe loop?
One of the professors who commented on the study said, "This is normal, everything in there is normal." I'm not so sure about number 37.

And can you please give us a list of the sex acts preferred by men and women? And do some research on those black spike heels the women always wear in bed. Is that so they can run from the cops? Or are the shoes the payment? And why do those lesbian girls always end up giving head to men? Or is that just in the movies I watch? Hmm. Although many men profess to be lesbians too, does that make them bisexual?

The survey people say they are encouraged because the teens are using condoms more often, but worried because the older folks are not. Well good. But those old folks, especially the ninety-four year olds, have trouble feeling if their LEGS are still there. They`re not about to cover up anything!
As for me, I am practicing safe sex to the extreme, I wear my rubber gloves to masturbate.

We can always do with another sex survey, meanwhile I`m renting `When Harry Met Sally` again to watch Meg for clues. The dictionary says fake is `A brief feint or aborted change of direction intended to mislead one's opponent`.
Opponent, huh?
Bring on that Dracula Babe. I'm no 21 percenter.