Grey Power!

Grey Power has arrived. (gnarled fist in air)
The world is about to cross a demographic landmark of huge social and economic significance, with the proportion of the global population 65 and over set to outnumber children under five for the first time in history.
North America can now officially begin paying attention to us old people instead of catering to the wasted young! Times, they are a changin', as senior citizen Bob Dylan would say. Maybe now the powers that be will start looking to us weathered old driftwood characters for direction and advice!

The report, An Ageing World, forecasts that over the next 30 years the number of over-65s is expected to at least double, from 506 million in 2008 to 1.3 billion – a leap from 7% of the world's population to 14%.  In Canada alone we now have more than 6,000 people over 100!

What can we old gray mayors and mares expect in our near future? Assuming we can get there ....

Music: Well, maybe the radio stations will start forgetting the bitching of Metallica about people stealing their 'music', and start remembering Rudy Vallee and Bing Crosby. Where the blue of the night meets the cold of the day and I haven't slept yet! No one steals their songs. And laid-back Perry Como could make a comeback too. Yes I know he's dead but he was never that full of vigor anyway so they could probably exhume him and if he's been embalmed properly he'd be just about the same. Imagine Perry with an iPod down his throat singing Barber of Seville with Paverotti vocals!  The 51st Shade of Grey will be coffin pallor.

Ocarina, around for 12000 years

The ocarina might make a comeback too.  Justin Beaver could be playing Miss the Mississippi and You on a sweet potato whilst trying a new hair look. (remember 'whilst'?) Gangsta Rap will be a bully at crosswalks yelling down the time count before the red-hand light.
You might like to know that the song, Wait Till the Sun Shines, Nelly, is now in public domain.
Elvis might come out of hiding, Paul McCartney will forget the words to Hey Jude and Tony Bennett still won't go away.

Dress: Clothing styles will change. Haberdashers won't be selling those hangdownyerassers short pants anymore. Although they'd be good for hiding your Depends.
And they'll only make those skin tight neon latex body suits at the risk of seeing grandmaws with matching electric blue hair on their way to Yoda classes. For which thankful you will be. Not yoga, Yoda, because Luke and Leia now need the Force to get up again. Octogenarians will be charged if seen wearing a mini skirt in public. And cleavage will only refer to cutting your finger off while chopping garlic.

Employment: There will be much more work from home because employers won't be able to count on you even finding your way to work.  And because the retirement age is increasing and will likely be 75 soon, your employer will probably just pay you to stay home rather than go in and f#%* up everything at the office! You won't want to be paid to go to work anyway, it'll be good enough just to go somewhere. Anywhere. And don't even imagine what Day Care will be like.

Food: No more late night candle lit dinners either. Because we'll all be asleep, from pushing Happy Hour all the way back to 2 pm and then sleeping through the six o'clock news. And more of us old folk will die from drowning in their soup because they're too tired to sit up straight at the table, or from burning down their houses with all those candles! Home cooking will smell like singed eyebrows and burnt oven gloves. Stoves will automatically turn off at 6:15 pm.
Gin and Ensure will be a fave. But Jello shots at bars won't.
No more rock candy even though it is a thing of our generation because we can't tell the rocks from the candy! Only gummy bears in our future. And Pud's Double Bubble gum on the bedpost will have dentures stuck in it! 

Health: We will be healthier, we'll have to be to live so long. Bowel movements will be the focus of conversations. Great ones the topic. Why just yesterday I had such a good one ... How good was it? It was so good I couldn't flush until I said goodbye! Check out The Bertrameister below for the topic of flatulence.
We old people have more toilet time than movie theater time. My wife visits her toilet so often it trembles when she walks by. Toilet tissue will be the focus of our shopping too. 5-ply because old fingers get sharp. And a separate room for hoarding it. Those pill ads on CNN will finally stop because the side effects take too long to repeat, except 'may cause death'.

Literature: Archie, Captain Marvel, and Nancy Drew will become literature.  But maybe Kipling, Conrad and Twain will return to our consciousness of good writing without spelling mistakes. And if you were wondering if literature and flatulence could ever belong in the same writing, go here and read about my Uncle Bertram,   The Bertameister   Its reely gud.
Oswald Rabbit will finally be forgotten but we'll always remember Felix.

Transport: Cars will be different. Why, already they are starting with innovation for modern times. I was in a new one the other day and it had a fart bag! Really. Imagine that, to spare your passengers the odorifious mixture of your morning porridge and prunes. There was a little switch on the dash. It said, Pass Air Bag. How clever of them. I wonder how many bags come with the vehicle that you can pass air into? Don't ask me how it stays in there. Maybe cars will run on methane in the future? Having your own fuel station will be having your own cow. And cows have two stomachs so you'll never be without gas.

Sex: Ah yes, you were scrolling ahead for this one weren't you. Well, you know how many older men have stents in their hearts don't you? To keep the aorta open with healthy blood flow. These are implanted with a balloon as in angioplasty. Ok, you're getting ahead of me aren't you, thinking what a grand idea!
Well yes, the stent in your heart is a mesh metal tube, that when opened, locks open! Now you're going there. Yep, no more need for the little blue pill and a hopeful interlude. You'll for sure want to join that ladies yoga class, (Not Yoda, yoga this time) to show off your metal erection that will probably last 20 years! I think they'll solve the rust problem soon.

Joan Rivers in 2035

And you ladies will benefit too. Joan Rivers being a shiny example of what can be done with plaster of Paris, paper mache and flesh colored latex. And a team of Botox doctors on retainer. Inflation may become a medical procedure.

Entertainment: New shows on TV will be like, So You Think You Can Stand, Dancing with the Scars,  American Idle and Are You Smarter Than a Senile 92 Year Old? Hosted by a guy named Al Zymers. A reality show might be, Watch Henry Eat, with a spinnoff being, Finding Henry's Teeth. Try to guess what Walker, Texas Ranger will be about? Chuck Norris in a series of crosswalk adventures? You're in trouble if you honk at him? But he won't kick ass for fear of forcing a shart with his boot.  Opie will play the Andy Griffith role in Mayberry.
Old shows still spinning will be Wheelchair of Fortune with Vanna White sitting at the edge of the stage saying, "Oh hell, they light by themselves," and sipping her fifth martini while moving her vowels. One of the sponsors will be the new Pat Sajak Fluffy Hairpiece, now in black.

Sports: Baseball could feature Ted Williams thawing! And a no hitter will be just that. Even with T-ball. In the NHL it might be impossible to differentiate concussions from senility. The skating warmup will stop because too many napped on the bench after it. In the NFL a Hail Mary will become an 8 yard pass.  NBA will switch to hula hoops. Soccer will make a shameful exit because 2 whole teams faked injuries at the same time. There will be a chess scandal because Bobby Fischer played two moves when Anatoly Karpov fell asleep. Ping might be popular. No Pong because no one ever hits it back.

Movies: Batman 83 won't only be the version edition but his age too! He'll be arguing with Robin over who has to remove the guano from the Batmobile. Titanic will be remade again, this time with those Avatar people fighting off the Nazi stealth icebergs. Everyone will be blue with cold and the sponsor will be Florida Snow Bird Estates.
The Vampire craze will be over because every American who has a gun, (that's all of them) will have at least one silver bullet in his chamber. And the stars of Jackass will only be racing rocking chairs on the edge of a 3 step porch. The Cocoon remake will star Don Ameche's hologram.

Politics: The president of the United States will be a Chinese little person lesbian TG Buddhist Munster born in Mundovia who will start a war with Texas. She will have won the presidency because no American could find Mundovia on a US map to dispute her birthplace. Gipper Bush the 14th will win the war after starving out the rest of America from Canadian oil and assume the presidency after a vote that includes only white males with 'murican names, marksmanship credentials and a Stepford wife.
In Canada the government will have changed thirty-three times but no one remembers and it didn't matter anyway.

Yes, our lives will change for sure. Having Grey Power will finally set everything right.  Evolvement will stop.  Involvement may stop.  Volvos will go forever. The world will keep revolving, but a little slower and we'll have what we want, whether the children like it or not.
Already, the number of people in the world 65 plus is increasing at an average of 870,000 each month. Our ranks are swelling along with our gout toes and prostates.

Happy birthday Gramps, have some mush cake and Kaopectate or you can't go into the hot tub again.


Be careful if you make fun of us, Grey Power has arrived!
Now get outa here before I take off all my clothes and do my Grandfather Clock impression.

Would you like some gum?

REpost from 2005, still crazy after all these years

from Wednesday, May 04, 2005

California bans internet hunting.

California decided that those great white hunters who are flocking to a Texas based hunting website, shouldn't go there anymore. I don't mean those brave courageous hunters who frequent the chain-link fenced hunting sites in Texas for the thrill of killing some grazing Bambi while safely outside the fence in their pick-ups, I mean 'hunters' sitting at home on their computers and with a computer mouse click, actually causing a gun to shoot a deer or whatever animal! Did you know this was happening?


Bambi beware

Can you believe it? Can you believe that there are people in the world who would do this? You sit there at your computer, click your mouse, watch the monitor, 'stalk' a deer, get it in your cyber sights, CLICK, BAM! ... death. Wow. I mean REAL death. Brave. A real hairy chest beater, isn't it? They even send you the animal remains! Is there any limit to the masculinity? The bravado? The idiocy?

Fourteen other states are about to ban computer hunting too. I am worried that the technology might be turned to more sinister directions. Like hunting random people! Is it a matter of time until Homeland Security or the Minutemen set up this stuff on the Mexican border? Or someone suggests that frying all those deathrow inmates is just boring. (Texas executed 33 people in 2002. No count of the animals executed.)

You know who these guys are don't you? They're those men who go down to their basements after dinner, (served precisely at 5 pm) while their wife or mother cleans up the dishes, washes the floor and prepares their pipe and slippers. They tuck in under the stairs, fire up the computer, check out the porno sites, feel the reassurance of something hard between their legs, which is their Daddy's Smith & Wesson, and go hunting. 

The hunter websites actually say computer hunting aids the handicapped hunter. (isn't that the inherent quality of ALL hunters?) Some of these closed hunting ranches even have specials; One mature turkey, plus one hog, and unlimited coyotes, all for just $500.! What? No cows? Almost like a Safeway grocery special isn't it? Others are importing exotic animals from around the world, Barbary Sheep from North Africa, Blackbuck Antelope, from India, etc. "What the hell," Bubba says, "there jist ain't anuff critters ta kill out here in Texas." Spit

The web-sights are from the same ranches who breed domestic deer in confinement for killing, these ranchers have brought themselves into the 21st century.
Too bad their brains didn't make the trip.
Scary though, isn't it?

Texas, a whole nuther country.


http://live-shot.com/species.shtml

David Booth - a mentality?

 I don't know about you, but I have a healthy respect for bears. I have seen some in the wild and am always impressed by their apparent health! Bears are magnificent but I try to stay away from them. We are displacing them from their territory every day and they have no where else to go so when we infringe we might expect a violent result. When I see them as mauling a hunter I have no compassion for the hunter. Yet they are hunted always as a trophy to represent the courage and prowess of the great white hunter.

Canuck's winger David Booth's idea of hunting has a different twist. Perhaps not brave enough to enter our wild country in BC to hunt a bear, David went to Alberta where 'bear-baitng' is legal. 

The term "bear baiting" may be used for the hunting practice of luring a bear to an arranged killing spot with bait. The 'hunter' places an amount of food, such as raw meat or sweets, every day at a given spot until he knows the food is being taken each day. Told by bear tracks. He then chooses a day to await the bear, killing it when it arrives to feed. Such bear baiting is legal in many states in the U.S. The Humane Society reports that, Bear baiting is banned in 18 of the 27 states that allow bear hunting. Sometimes, in those nine other states, bear baiting can account for up to 75% of the 'hunting' bear deaths.

The hunter needn't even get out of his car! No need for camouflage clothing, even Bozo could do it in full pink and yellow costume! So much for stealth, bravery and skill in the wilderness.  Why not just start up your pickup and run over the animal? In this case, the bear was just sniffing around at the bait when killed! 
Booth defended himself by posting a video link on Twitter. “You all know i (sic) shot a bear heres how ... you have every right not to watch just like i have the right to choose to hunt,” he tweeted along with a YouTube link. Evidently he was involved with a TV program called the Edge. (not joking)
YouTube, reacting to the disgust of so many took down the video.

It is not the fact that Booth was hunting, nor that he choose the cowardly practice of baiting to kill, it is the fact that he was proud enough to display his ignorance of wild creatures on a social network and the inconsideration of his position as a public person looked up to by many impressionable kids that reveals Booth's character.

I wonder if this is the kind of mentality we want representing the Vancouver Canucks? The fact that he makes over four million dollars a season and has been at best a fourth line player is enough to consider trading him this off season. Time to go, David, and take your big black rug with you.

We need better character than that on a Canadian team.




another great white hunter link - - - http://caterwauls.blogspot.ca/2005/05/california-bans-internet-hunting.html

NHL Sportsmanship

It seems to me that here in the 2012 NHL playoffs we are watching the demise of hockey.
Many agree that the best hockey ever played were those games against the USSR in 1972! It was fast, furious, full of speed and skill, and to our surprise at that time, full of bone rattling hits by the Russians! Tough hockey. And yes, before you dump on me, dirty stuff going on as well.

 
But here we watching a changed NHL. Full of concussions and serious injuries. And to the best players in the league. The players people pay to watch! The ones who have thousands of kids wearing their jerseys. We lost Sydney Crosby for most of a year to concussion. The player who won the gold medal for Canada!
What is concerning is the mentality of the league today. The macho attitude that a player looking down is fair game to be maimed. It seems that some teams are actually marketing with the slogun, 'There will be blood!'

Daniel Sedin was unaware of the check coming from Duncan Keith, and the elbow with intent to injure that put him out. It seems the attitude is be tough or get out! Or we'll put you out. Coach John Tortorella said it recently, 'the players have no respect for each other.' It goes a step further, the league has no respect for the players that earn it money. Aaron Asham's viscious cross check was a retaliation for a hit that did not concern him! Yes there are suspensions, but did that stop Raffi Torres, a repeat offender, from that deadly check at full speed to the head of Marian Hossa? You can often see the predatory player head-hunting as he winds up looking for the hit instead of the puck! And the 'fans' stand and cheer after that hit, at least until the hush when the player is unresponsive on the ice. Then we hear endless talking sports heads saying, no one means to hurt. Yes they do.

So because Henrik Sedin was unsuspecting, does that give one a pass to hurt him at will? If you saw the Darcy Hortichuck attempt to elbow Ryan Kesler you would be sick if he had connected. And Kesler's career would be over.

And what do the sports media add to this? They go back to the Daniel Sedin hit on Duncan Keith and say Daniel started it by checking too hard! Therefore, in the macho NHL media spin, he was fair game for whatever. The mentality is that if a someone jaywalks without using a cross walk, it is okay to run the person down? Some would say the whole attitude of the Boston Bruins is to hurt everyone you can, not with hockey but with fists and sticks. Don Cherry criticizes Crosby by saying he should not play so tough if he doesn't want to be hurt. ???

Actually smashing a player's head into the glass doesn't even get a suspension, because he was a star player. Doesn't it drive home the idea of disrespect? Is there a new tier in the NHL? Do we need to identify the level of player to judge the infraction? Maybe have the elite players wear blue armbands and they get five hurts and the fringe wear red and get only two? Why not give out colored brass knuckles?

The referees are much to blame for this. The calls will always be to keep the game equal. The league does not want an 8 - 1 game. The calls will be tailored to even it up. But then the refs get their orders from the league, don't they. 
It boils down to disrespect for the players among themselves, and the very fact that some are out to hurt others, shows the disrespect for their own game. Sportsmanship has ebbed away in the business of hockey.
If this is not corrected by getting this attitude out of the game, we will have nothing remaining but cage fighting on ice.

Hockey registration is way down. Mothers are taking their young boys out of hockey faster than you can say concussion. Yet if you look at the games, the hits the fights the tackles and take-downs, the current NHL fans are loving it. They see the players on ice as nothing more than warriors, maybe even gladiators. It is a matter of time before we have a player on one team as the Masked Marvel?

And it seems only a matter of time until a player is taken off the ice on a stretcher, unmoving, and we hear later he has died from his injuries.
It is only a matter of time until we no longer have Gretskys, Crosbys, Bossys, Sedins, Toews, Iginlas, Yzermans etc. Because these types of players will have little interest in the potential of living in a lifelong daze and the fans will miss the exciting skill and speed.

Or will they? It's all about players having respect for their own game.

.

addenda: 3rd liner Raffi Torres gets a 25 GAME suspension for that hit on Hossa. Compare to a pocket change $2500. fine for 1st liner Shay Weber for a head grab and smash into the glass! If that is not 'intent to injure', what is? The NHL is a sad example of disgraceful officiating. 

Sports Media - signed sealed and delivered.

This is what I noticed long ago: On sports radio and TV, the sportscasters all say the exact same things, often word for word. It is obvious that the PR departments of most teams simply write the stories or reports and just send them off to the sports departments to mimic on air.

Stay away from the slightest inkling of negativity about a team. Or else. The Maple Leafs steered by Brian Burke are the lead in Ontario, with the Don Cherry revelations coming out of Toronto about Burke trying to get him fired.  The Canucks in Vancouver control what is said and who says it. Attested by what happened to Tommy Larscheid recently. He had just too much emotion about the Canucks and didn't hesitate to say when they were just plain bad. But he cared. And even when Brian was here he tried to get writers fired who were way too objective. Control of the media is now the norm.

Witness the revelations coming from the NFL about bounty hits on players. And never a word in the sports sections until players themselves brought it out! And the NBA broadcasting phoney crowd noise at games like laugh tracks on comedy shows, everyone cheering and having a wonderful time if you were watching on TV or listening on the radio .... until the fans IN the arena, watching on their portable TVs wondered where that crowd noise was coming from in a silent game! Did the sports media reveal this blatant cheating by the league? Nope.
And IF you could afford tickets to actually attend a hockey game, haven't you wondered why that music is soooo loud? It is so that no one can ever hear a disgruntled fan yelling at the refs or the team in between plays.  To me that used to be part of the fun, the heckling and comments. "Hey ref, you're worse than Eggo!" and "Hey ref, you must be pregnant, you missed two periods awready!"

Silence today is a no no because you might hear fan reaction to Luongo's third goal in the first five minutes! 

So in the latest goings on, we saw Cody Hodson traded out of the blue. The rumors persisted that Alain Vignault had a personality clash with Hodson. So he went. And the Canucks' head office, realising they had committed a PR blunder, sprang into action. They blamed Cody's Dad for engineering it. They blamed Cody's agent for instigating it. The said Cody asked for a trade. The Canucks referred to the Cody Hodson 'Camp' butting heads with the team, trying to make like it was one large corporation against another. Trying to make it seem fair and just while they badmouthed fan favorite Cody. But on Cody's minutes-after-the-trade interview, he was totally stunned by the news. Convincing everyone who saw it that it was not a known option to him, or a wanted option.
Of course I use the term, 'the Canucks' instead of naming any particular sports media because it is basically ALL of them who do exactly what they are told, when, where and how. When a sportscaster speaks, he is simply channeling the contrived opinion of the Canucks.

And they blunder on obediently, advertising dollars piling up, burying integrity beneath all that cash. They are signed sealed and delivered by the sports teams.

And the fans are screwed blued and tattooed. No matter what color jersey they are wearing.
.

Can Vancouver win a second Stanley Cup?

The Vancouver Canucks are up against it. In spite of having (arguably) the best team in the NHL, it's not just the other teams they need to battle to win. They need to defeat the league too. What league? The National Hockey League.

'Oh,' you say, 'Here we go again with the everybody against the Canucks' conspiracy theory.'
Sore loser from last year? Not so.
The irrational argument is that you need hundreds of people to be involved in a conspiracy. If the NHL wanted a certain team to win, surely of all those players someone would tell. Gary Bettman couldn't keep it quiet. And what team would do it? And for what reason? You can't fix a hockey game by bribing the players. They're already millionaires! Hmm.

But we're not talking about the old Gangster style Chicago Blacksox. And it's not 1919 anymore, it is 2012! Yet we all know about players in various leagues who were caught shaving points. Or dropping just too many catches in the big game. And I'm not even mentioning boxing. There is gambling on every sport now. Even though most gangsters don't even know what ice hockey is!

But it is about engineering the league, the whole NHL. Maybe it should be called the GML? the Genetically Modified League. The NHL needs all the publicity it can get from big games. Stanley Cup finals especially. Big TV networks need more than coaxing to air hockey games. They all need ratings to sell advertising. It is suspected the NBA, NFL and MLB all are actively working against ANY league that could threaten their supremacy for the people's dollar and that television revenue. And now the NHL wants to play to those big markets. And get its share?  Ah, there it is.

You see? For the benefit of the whole league, the NHL powers that be need to have the big market teams as Stanley cup winners. So they WILL play to the big markets. So the TV execs will come calling. Or at least answer the phone. Would Tampa Bay versus Columbus in a cup final sink the league? Maybe.  So how to avoid that disastrous matchup?

Look at the last few champions: Boston Bruins, Chicago Blackhawks, Pittsburgh Penguins, Detroit Red Wings. It is already going the way of the league fix. The GML. And who is next on this list of preferred winners? New York Rangers of course, with the Philadelphia Flyers close behind, probably in 2014. They're already gearing up New York for the win if you watch closely enough. The team is almost good enough with a little help. Hmm again. What kind of help? What would do it?

In the playoffs. Perhaps only a few calls or non calls from the refs.
We all saw what the non calls did to the Canucks last year. Had the Canucks been playing in games where the regular rules applied, their power play would have sunk the Boston Bruins, instead, the rules were tossed out and all the penalties that would normally have been called in a normal hockey game were ignored in order to have the big market team win the cup.

How is that achieved? A careful eye reveals the conspiracy. It doesn't take ALL the referees and linesmen to change the face of a game. only a couple. And they do it all the time anyway. The NHL is desperately afraid of lopsided games. Has been for years. If your team gets called for, say three penalties in the first period, two of which result in goals scored against you, you are free to cross-check, board, tackle and slash for the next period until you score too. No one wants an 8 to zip game. I must be 3 - 2, or 5 - 3.
The game has been controlled that way for years now. Always admitting that the refs are supposed to control the game, however they also often control the outcome of the game.

What about Canadian teams? Montreal and Toronto are so far below the talent line there is no possibility of a threat there, even though they are hotbeds of hockey. And the Village of Vancouver is so far west we might as well be in radioactive Japan! If Vancouver won the cup the league would probably LOSE viewership and money for the rich Eastern owners! So conspiracy sneaks in a side door. Prevent Vancouver from getting there. They were too close last year and in the final, all the TV viewer markets like New York, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia etc were tuned out! Nothing to sell for the networks.

So we have the Canucks, upstart Westerners, (even after 40 years) determined to have another go at the Cup, and we have the league, just as determined that they don't win it. Gary Bettman and the insiders want to share the cup only with the core where the money is, the Northeast.

Hugh Lehman

So the Canucks are up against it. Will have to battle Gary Bettman, certain league officials charged with the duty of controlling certain games, (read playoffs) and the opposition teams, also determined that they are going to win this year. It can all boil down to timely calls or non calls by the officials. Blink or don't blink.

I'm not sure what the Vancouver Millionaires needed to overcome to win our first Stanley Cup in 1919, but almost a hundred years later, in my opinion, we are battling more opponents than the other team on the ice to win our second.

Just sayin', but it's my prediction.

Sale Days

I was browsing through a drugstore ad flyer last night.
They have so many good things in drugstores these days. Mostly women's stuff though. I saw a new product for girl's hair, called Bedhead. Something that musses your hair so you can match your guy's trendy Dumpsterhead I think. I wonder how the comb industry will fight back?
They had some strange groupings of sale products with special offers;
Like these women's briefs called Tena that come in a package. Of course they are made for any leakage that might be embarrassing for a gal. It happens as women grow into olderhood. As a matter of fact I can't tell my wife a joke unless she's already sitting on the toilet. She's afraid to laugh otherwise. But she rarely laughs at my feeble jokes anyway, especially when they're coming at her from under the bathroom door.
But the funny part is that you get a free six pack of Ensure when you buy the Tena briefs! Why can't men's briefs have a similar deal with a 6 of Bud? But then half a dozen beers would cause the leakage wouldn't they.
Another deal was NeoCitran and Buckleys, buy them both and they'll give you a whole CASE of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup!  I assume to negate the infamous taste of the Buckleys, but a whole case? What if I buy like 8 or 10 of each? I could open a soup kitchen.


But the men's thing that really caught my eye was the ad for Trojan condoms. You can get several types; the Originals, called Magnum. Or the Bareskin, or the Ultra Sensitives. Great.
The images with these names are like, er, macho; "the 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun .... Make my day, Punk .... Did I fire five shots? Or six?" You can feel the powerful Clint glint emanating maleness overwhelming that skinny punk girl with purple and orange hair. She's helplessly receptive to your Magnum.
And the name Bareskin conjures up a buff loin-clothed Tarzan grabbing the lusty Jane and swinging her off into the jungle sunset! Gawd!  And Jane squirming and pretending to struggle and .... oops, sorry, got sidetracked.
Well, Sensitive Trojans kind of make me think of a poet guy named Seth who always wears a scarf and uses crying to get his sex. Not quite there for me, but guys will try anything. I guess it is macho in a reverse psychology kind of mode. She's sympathetic to your Sensitivity.

Yet this is the first time I have seen an ad for LARGE in condoms. Yes that's the actual name, in a big bold manguy font too. Now I can't say I know what a large size would cover, but it makes me curious. Bavarian Smokies are one thing, but those huge German bratwursts are another. Where's the division between hot dogs at the ball park and a Louisville Slugger?

I know as kids we blew up the regular sizes and had lots of fun with them, you could fill them almost full with water, and find a hill on a rainy day so you could bowl them down the center of the street and they'd go for miles on the wet pavement! And they would inflate to about the size of your thigh leg. You can probably write Der Hindenburg on this large size and fly them from a tether.
Large has so many connotations. Single guys could carry one when they go to a bar, inadvertently drop one by the table of those girls out for a night on the town. Of course your phone number is scribbled on the package. And keep a couple in your glove box in case of an emergency tire change, keep your hands clean with these rubber mittens. Take the pack out when crossing the border though or you'll be in for a strip search.
And when you buy this Large size, you don't step into the checkout lineup with hesitant stealth as usual, but wait for the cute cashier to open and slide them onto the counter face up, label readily read. L-A-R-G-E. Remember to seem embarrassed about your, um, disfigurement. 

Well I am way past using condoms. And never had the need for porn star sizes anyway. But a Large size condom might be very good for keeping extra socks dry on a camping trip. Or maybe keeping your slippers on. You`d never slip. Or filling one with Cheerios and stuffing it down your pants, ala Mr. Softie. Yes a codpiece. Way better than a heavy potato down there, which can be embarrassing when it slips down and falls out your pantleg beside your shoe. Hey, don't look at me I am just guessing. I suppose I could try one, but on me it would seem like a groin goiter, nothing sexy about that. My wife wouldn't ask in a husky voice, "What is that?" pointing coyly with a pinky finger. She'd probably say, "OMG What happened? Did you slip off your bicycle seat?"  You could use one to keep your tennis balls dry. But no one plays tennis in the rain.

So all these Trojans are considered safety precautions against disease and pregnancy. And Large is something to consider if you are amply endowed. Even if you are not you could 'enhance' the package with those Cheerios. They are on sale too and after all they are the 'Breakfast of Champions'.

But I am no longer a Champion because I am marking the Centrum vitamins, Tylenol ache and pain remedies and Imodium ads. Now that's what drug stores are for. Champion only means Gene Autry's horse to me. OMG there is a connotation in there too!
I see blood pressure monitors are on sale. 
And one size fits all.

I'll be there on sale day.
.


 

Liberal convention - Desperation

The Federal Liberals are having a convention. They have made several resolutions, hoping to revive their almost defunct party. And even though they are very desperate for credibility, they still refuse to acknowledge the fact that their previous leaders are responsible for their present position at the bottom of every popularity poll in the country.

They have stunned the older people by voting to legalize marijuana, while at the same time, stunning the younger people and Quebeckers by voting to retain ties to the Monarchy. Are they confused or what?

Let's review what some Liberals did - - - Pierre Trudeau gave us a constitution that so far has served prisoners everywhere, freeing them from punishment for almost every crime possible. Illegal immigrants need only to get a toenail embedded into Canadian soil to get their due monthly money, set of pots and the same legal rights of all citizens. He married ex-Hippie Margaret and the Pierre-Sinclair show became the chagrin of the Canadian public. His Trudeaumania slid into Trudeauphobia.

John Turner, he allowed Trudeau to appoint his cronies into powerful positions even after taking the reins, was then caught on television patting the bottoms of Liberal Party President Iona Campagnolo and Vice-President Lise St. Martin-Tremblay. That told us all we needed to know about him. He ruled for 79 days and lost the election by a landslide, obviously without a single woman's vote! The old Hell hath no fury reaction.

Jean Chretien then took control, promised the GST would go and had a redbook full of other promises. He very sneakily refused to campaign in Quebec for Canada when the crucial separation vote was imminent! Spent 5.8 billion of OUR money on 30 year old helicopters, then doled out 100 million directly from his office to the Sponsorship Scandal participants without accountability. The rugs of our parliament have so much stuff swept under them that you need a Hummer to get over them!

Paul Martin then emerged. Mr. Dithers let the Canadian Military continue to scam him by allowing the purchase of 4 broken down British Submarines. Our Navy defended the billion dollar submarine program saying the boats were vital to the defence of Canada even though none were capable of firing torpedoes, submerging or even venturing out to sea! The crews would have to wear SKUBA gear inside them! They were only good if sunk for metal reefs to encourage colourful fish habitat. Paul Martin then stuttered his way into oblivion.

Stephane Dion, arrived all shiny and a citizen of France. It was bad enough to have a another staunch Quebecker wanting to run Canada who had been involved in the Quebec sovereignty movement but the trouble was no one could understand him even whether he spoke French OR English! He initiated something called the Green Shift, which some figured out was either shifting corporate taxes away from corporations and onto the public or just that green hairy stuff that grows on veggies in your fridge. Others thought it was the name of a lawn mowing company. But as no one could understand him in any language, it didn't work.

Michael Ignatieff then reappeared after having been beaten by Dion previously. The Liberals were like raccoons feeling around for frogs in a murky pond, and they refound Ignatieff, dredging him out of the mud! No one cared because he had not been living in Canada for 22 years and squinted when he addressed the media! It made us all wonder who ARE these Liberal leader pickers?  Michael had 11 honorary doctorates, but I think Mike Tysen does too. Ignatieff hastily led the Liberals down the political drain and even lost his own seat and the party's status of official opposition! It was more like a toilet flushing! He was never going to live in Stornoway after Go-away was imposed on him by the voters.

So in 2011 the Liberal party had 18.9% of the popular vote. It's lowest ever and a far cry from Sir Wilfrid Laurier's 50.9% in 1904. But then there were only 39 people living in Canada then, and those Liberals probably wouldn't allow Indians or Chinese to vote.

Now here we are, new old Federal Liberals with scrubbed faces, full of hope and desperation at the same time, trying to connect somehow with everyone in the country. We are going to be able to smoke pot on the streets, (IF the Americans let us) and bow and curtsy to the Queen, which could be Camilla! And the new Party President promised to 'get right down to the nuts and bolts'.
Methinks the nuts are already there and the ones with any sense have bolted!

Although perhaps a few nuts have joined too?  Marc-Boris St. Maurice, founder of the Marijuana Party became a Liberal in 2005 and joined. Blair Longley took over that party leadership and advocated marijuana smoking too and all he wanted if elected was a new bicycle. See, there are alternatives to the Big Machine parties. Perhaps Marc-Boris is at the bottom of these dramatics?

And the image of Trudeau won't disipate with his prostate-checking finger in the air and an echo of 'fug you' reverberating through the Canadian Shield. I don't know about you, but I have that same old creepy Crawley feeling I have always had about the Liberals.They truly earned the name Lieberals.

Light up, maybe it's okay now.

But don't forget to curtsy.

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Northern Gateway Pipeline

Today talks are starting in Kitimat about the Enbridge Northern Gateway Pipeline. So far over 4000 people have signed up to talk about this proposal.
The deal would construct a duel pipeline from the Alberta Tar Sands oil production facility, through Alberta, across the Rockies, through British Columbia, to Kitimat BC. There the oil would be pumped onto oil tankers and sent to China.

You need to know here that Kitimat is NOT a coastal port, it is miles inland through narrow channels.

Follow the line on the map to see what route these huge oil tankers will have to take through BC's coastal waters.
This is a pristine area, full of narrow fjords, majestic mountains, water-edge forests and serene waterways where the fishing is excellent and with humpback whales, wild salmon, sea otters, eagles and many other species of wildlife.


You can see for yourself on Google Earth, a free program if you don't already have it.



click to enlarge
Check out more of the pictures there too, taken by travelers and boaters in the area.

And what are the benefits of this potential disaster to British Columbians? A FEW jobs during construction and little afterward. Alberta and their foreign investors will just get richer.

Some people are suggesting it is yet another sell out of our raw resources. The Chinese are heavily invested in the Alberta Tar Sands and want our oil. Some are asking why we Canadians cannot build our own refinery and get the huge and enduring profits for ourselves, instead of shipping our crude to Texas OR China and having to buy back the gasoline.

Will we allow foreign interests once again to threaten us with an oil spill that would be catastrophic for the north of BC? We continue to ask why hasn't the Exxon Corporation paid the fines and costs of their 1989 oil spill when the Exxon Valdez defiled a pristine area of Alaska? And after all these years they are still tying it up in courts, appealing everything, making a mockery of the system and thumbing their noses at the people affected. Exxon has a $287 million damage claim and a $5 billion punitive damage claim and lowered it to 25 million which Exxon refuses to pay! Merely a few hours profit for them.
This is what you can expect in BC when they spill here. And the area is accessible ONLY by boat or plane, there are no roads. Would the area ever be recovered or become a no go like Chernobyl?

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exxon_Valdez_oil_spill

And meanwhile, why do so many people believe that BP has NOT got the Gulf oil spill under control even now? You saw that arrogance of the BP executives defying even the President of the United States! What about the Gulf dead zone? Why was BP allowed to keep everyone away (including the US Navy) from their damaged oil rigs and go on drilling more?
The potential of another environmental disaster is imminent. Right here at home in British Columbia. People need to be aware of this, and many are even questioning the polls which have even been carefully worded to diffuse the truth of the situation.

Do you want to take a chance on spoiling this perfect inland waterway for the benefit of Alberta and China?

It is not just now, folks, it is forever.


                                                                                Inside Passage, BC - by jiangliu - Google Earth

                                                        

How to bankrupt China

Stop shopping at WalMart until they have to close all their stores.
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What did they expect?

The spread of the 'Occupy Wall Street' mentality is growing.
How long it grows or how far it goes is anyone's guess. But the fact that people are organizing at all in such a way as having street protests is ominous for the powers that be. Because the people marching and occupying are not the usual black-masked vandals who frequent every protest, they are ordinary people who want to make it known that they are dissatisfied with the status quo. So the way things have been going one can only ask, what did they expect?
A recent poll showed that the general public thinks these protests will do no good by about 60%.  Yet the movement is expanding. The Middle East, Africa, Europe, South and North America are having spontaneous demonstrations. Corporate greed and government corruption seem to be the igniting factors.

We are told that 99% of the world's wealth is held by 1% of the people. And those people who are supposedly in charge, are only looking out for themselves.  And flaunting their power and position in an unequal world. We ARE one step away from anarchy.
The worst thing in the world next to anarchy is government. — Henry Ward Beecher (1813-1887); American preacher, speaker, and writer.
 
And yet there are those who believe that anarchy is an important step in the forward movement by governments towards the so called New World Order.  And these people with that agenda relish the prospect of bringing order to the unruly crowds, but need to allow that populace to become unruly first. Some even predict Martial Law in America within the next 3 years!

Yes, and what did these powerful and influential one percent expect?
Today corporations run the governments. So called Free Trade Agreements stopped a small town in Mexico from preventing the dumping of American nuclear waste in their region. It over-ruled the Mexican government and the people's health concerns. And the WTO riots show that people are catching on to the deception. Freedom and democracy is suspended by trade agreements!

Some believe that the US Government Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has hired  pharmaceutical executives to run it. With drugs being approved because they will aid huge profits! Listen to those ads on CNN for drugs and their side effects! An extensive study published in the reputable Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) showed that 106,000 people die each year in American hospitals from medication side effects! Warner-Lambert, Pfizer, Bristol-Myers Squibb, and many others have all been involved in lawsuits exposing their practices in selling drugs. Yet it goes on and on.

Monsanto is deciding which genetically manipulated Frankenfoods you will eat, after bullying farmers in the USA and South America for years! Even charging them and putting them out of business because their seeds blew into the farm property! Can growth hormones and chemical additives harm the human species?  The fish farms are about to start 'manufacturing' a genetically engineered salmon fish four times larger than normal! People subjected to these growth hormones for years in their food in America are beginning to produce huge abnormal children!

Is the British Petroleum oil rig still spilling crude into the Gulf? Many think they are and we have no way of looking at it because the BP Corporation will not let anyone near it! The US Navy should have taken charge of that whole disaster!  Yet the oil company can shield its operations from scrutiny, even after been caught lying! It is being rumored right now that the Gulf Stream which warms Western Europe is no longer flowing north and across the Atlantic, and that the 'dead spot' in the Gulf of Mexico is growing exponentially!
And did you know that Exxon has still not paid the fines imposed on them in their spill of 1989! Inspite of billion dollar profits every year! Who allows these transgressions? The powers that be.

The Enron scandal case was coincidentally ended when World Trade Center Building 7 conveniently fell down and all the FBI investigative evidence was contained in that building. The Bush family allowed certain Saudis to fly out of America DURING the evening of the 9/11 disaster, when everything else was grounded and Saudis were already suspect in the event! And Dick Cheney and his connections with Haliburton are hardly talked about. FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency used Blackwater private troops to deter desperate people at gunpoint trying to flee to safety during the Hurricane Katrina flood aftermath instead of helping them.

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac gave contributions to lawmakers sitting on committees that primarily regulate their industry!  The House Financial Services Committee; the Senate Banking, Housing & Urban Affairs Committee; or the Senate Finance Committee. Others have seats on the powerful Appropriations or Ways & Means committees or are members of the congressional leadership or have even run for president. While common people lost their dreams. No one has ever been charged in those cases!
Automobile companies who received tax payer's dollars as a bail out, arrogantly still gave their incompetent executives who put them in the position of NEEDING a bailout still got huge million dollar bonuses, spitting in the people's faces!
Banks can show a billion dollars profit per QUARTER with virtually NO research or developement of anything but ways to take cash out of your pocket! And no one ever criticizes these insolent executives, calling them instead 'job providers' and other nonsensical catch words. The Federal Reserve in America duped the public for years into thinking they were an arm of the American government looking after you, and instead were nothing but a private financial business insuring their own profits.


The CIA are suspected of fostering the growth of the heroin industry in Afghanistan and elsewhere in South East Asia! For secret profits! While brave young men are killed while thinking they are helping their country! People believe that the NSA, National Security Agency is involved with a secret agenda , and they no longer trust their local police. Instead fear them. Drug dealers work with impunity on our street corners. The criminality in cities is rampant and separating law abiding citizens from their own communities.
Drug cartels are in the midst of actually taking over the whole of Mexico! Columbian cocain continues year after year to flow steadily into the North America.

Your media reports on little of significance. You listen to cat and dog stories every night at 6 while the important events are allowed to pass into oblivion because certain people close to political contacts control almost the whole of media today.  In Iraq, there have been over 100 independent war corespondents and reporters killed since troops went there. While 'embedded' reporters tell you what they are told to tell you! Who is killing these free reporters from Rueters and other respected news sources? Someone who doesn't want them telling you what is happening.  An insidious suppression of truth.


So again, what did these arrogant manipulating people in power expect? 
They were charged with the duty of protecting a way of life. With running corporations with ethics, and governments with honesty. And they have failed miserably. We see that the pendulum of democracy has swung way wide of the mark.
The protests are now worldwide. Against corporations, organizations and governments that have no regard for people and their families. The public feels helpless. All they can do is protest, peacefully at first, but when unheard and frustrated, and feeling helpless and looking at a bleak future, they begin busting things. It is fear of the future. It is hope being extinguished. And the busting might be the democracy everyone talks about as being so much better than anything else.
Yet if that democracy is seen by the 99% as serving only the one percent .... Are you still angry at WikiLeaks?


“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”   ―  Margaret Mead


Just what did they expect?
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Second thoughts - - -  it seems the Vancouver 'protesters' are not knowledgeable about the worldwide efforts by others to bring attention to government corruptions and corporate greed. The Vancouver people now occupying the Art Gallery lawns with pitched tents, when interviewed by news media, seem to have a misunderstanding of why they are there, and put forth a rhetoric that betrays them as the same old protesters who turn out to any event. These people, legitimately or not, are turned off by society but make no effort to work at solving problems except to cry about not getting anything. It is a sad situation here as opposed to people around the world who have deep concern about what we wrote about above. Time for them to be removed.

Two new websites to attack

The choice is yours - - -

www.canttrustcummins.ca  -   The site that goes along with the radio attacks ads against John Cummins, leader of the BC Conservatives. -  asking for donations - implemented by the BC Liberal Party.

www.canttrustclark.blogspot.com  -  The site that attacks the attack ad and Christy Clark, leader of the BC Liberal Party - not asking for donations - implemented by unknown.

Expect more.
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Fire the Vancouver Police!

I never thought I'd say this, because I think Chief Jim Chu is a nice man, but he is in way over his head and needs to be fired. And all those policemen who are now in Indianapolis analyzing footage of the rioters need to be brought back to Vancouver and put on desk duty. This is not a holiday! What is next? Quantico for FBI profiling? 

WE ALREADY KNOW WHO THEY ARE! 

It is becoming obvious that something is up, and the Vancouver Police have no idea about how to do their job, nor do the prosecutors, nor does Vancouver Mayor Robertson, nor does the Premier of the Province, Christy Clark. She doesn't want to interfere with justice? Ask her how Gordon Campbell was able to actually STOP a trial when he was about to be implicated. (never mind, that's the old BC Rail scandal again)

It is almost like the Vancouver Police and everyone in a position of authority are trying desperately to avoid charging that doctor's son who turned himself in the next day! And maybe by outwaiting the public they will be able to lose him in the shuffle somewhere! 

There seems to be no reason to study more footage of the rioters except to ID new people discovered to be rioting or looting. Going off to some American facility to enhance whatever pictures they have will only allow the lawyers for the perps to cry photoshop, loud and clear and deny the images as tainted evidence!

What about the rioters who have already admitted guilt? Why are they not even in jail yet! Instead of telling us you will arrest 40 people on October 31st, why not do the Hallowe'en trick right now and arrest them right now! Then another 40 on the 15th. Then another 40 on the 31st! These perps need to start paying their lawyers NOW!  And if their daddys are rich doctors too bad.

The Vancouver police now want the media footage too, and the media will probably resist and there goes more wasted time.

There is a famous picture by a young photographer of thousands of fans before the riot. It is going around as an email and is ultra high resolution. It could be used to ID many of those creeps by comparing them before and during their malicious actions! 

When you have 40 people who have already come forward and admitted guilt, you need to get on with sentencing them. And harshly! The Mayor needs to demand it and Christy Clark needs to stop politicking against the NDP and do something that shows she has some faint idea of what a premier of the province should be doing when the law abiding people have been kicked in the face by the slag!

This lag does nothing to enhance the idea of law and justice, and it is the law and justice who are denigrating themselves. It is like the police, the mayor and the premier are all hoping they can squeeze out of a dilemma by lingering on the sidelines and blaming someone else.

People need to be fired. Now. Start with Jim Chu. Go on to Mayor Robertson,. Finish off with Christy Clark. These three need to be fired. Vancouver and BC will be better for the riddance of all these ineffectual people.
Then we need to build a fire under the asses of the perps and not be satisfied with bitch-slapping them!

The people of BC and Vancouver deserve way better than what they've got!

 Where is Mathew Begbie when we need him?

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Snitch ads

This is ominous.
Radio ads are now playing a new advertisement. By Business Alliance Software. Asking you to call in or go to a website and report your company or neighbor or someone you know who might be using pirated software.
The page you go to has a complete form for you to fill in, should you suspect someone is using pirated software. You add your detailed report, and can even chat online with an agent regarding pirated software. All this in complete privacy!  Even secrecy.
Wow, it worked in East Berlin and Russia, no reason it won't work here in America and Canada. Of course they say your name will be confidential unless required by law. And yes, all court cases would require the name of the individual who started the action as evidence and yes all court case evidence becomes public information by law. But that's small print stuff.

This is exactly like what the Recording Industry of America did, when they enacted their actions on behalf of Metallica, regarding downloads of music. And today every single person in North America pays more for their recording tapes and recordable CDs because they've branded us all as midnight downloading criminals!  And who gets that money? Exactly.

Well of course you want to be a good citizen and stop the millions of dollars of lost revenue to software companies. Good. And besides, you get a reward!

But is this the start of something bigger and even more ominous? We'll leave it to facebook to continue gathering cross referencing material for the CIA. But how long will it be before other private agencies begin to gather detailed information from people about other things?  Suspicious things. Ba-ad things.

Do you suspect your neighbor is selling his garden tomatoes without reporting the income as taxable?
Is your other neighbor golfing when he's supposed to be sick on compo?
Does your nasty sister-in-law get all those pencils from her office job?
How did that WallMart guy up the street manage to afford a BMW?
Are those guys hanging around the coffee shop espresso dealers?
What are those Elks Club men really doing in their meetings?
Is your 40 year old unmarried brother-in-law a closet gay?
Did Grandma really win all that money playing Rumoli?

Perhaps these are all people and events that need reporting and investigation. Why should they get away with murder? Or tomatoes even. Will there be more websites set-up for people to snitch on their friends, neighbors and bosses?
Guaranteeing your privacy consequently transmits anonymous power to you if you are in a position to witness the results.
Can you actually make the Stazi appear with Kalishnikovs drawn to drag away the guy across the street at 4 am because he can't account for those BBQ steaks? Screaming in terror while you peek from behind your curtains?
Will there be a proliferation of tattle-tale sites?

Call the Neighbor-did-it hotline today!
Fill out the form at PencilsAreProfits.com.
Send an email to ClosetmenAren'tMinutemen.org.
reportCasinoCardCountingGrandmas.com.
FinksAnonymous.com

All with confidentiality. Be a good citizen, report those misdeeds and miscreants.


The reward mentioned is paid by Business Software Alliance, (BSA) 'IF BSA proceeds with an investigation and IF it leads directly to to a successful prosecution and IF it results in a monetary settlement from the accused and IF the requirements have been met, then you will be CONSIDERED for a reward IF you filled out a separate form and ASKED to be included and IF you are not violating an employment contract and IF you supply that contract to BSA and IF you agree that you have no right to contest BSA's sole determination and after all this, BSA reserves the right to determine the amount of your (potential) reward! '

Whew, that small print was small!

Oh wait, there's more - - - BSA reserves its right to deny the payment of a Reward or to revoke the Reward Program at any time, without notice, for any reason.
Whew again. And oh yes, it's taxable so they need your Social insurance number.

Maybe BSA has become the wikileaks of software piracy.
What the hell, report the bastard anyway, you want to see him in fear don't you? Shhhh!

https://reporting.bsa.org/r/report/add.aspx?src=us
http://wikileaks.org/

Politiclly Correct Riot

So in this aftermath of the Vancouver Riots we are getting every conceivable fix from every conceivable source. And a lot of feeble excuses thrown in like pepper in a sauce.

Police chief Jim Chu says maybe we weren't quite prepared but it's not his fault. Mayor Robertson says it's not his fault. Madam Premier Clark says we'll get them and then goes into hiding.  Blame the Canucks for losing! Blame the police for not controlling the situation. Blame Transit for allowing people into Vancouver! Blame anyone else.

The solutions are endless and ridiculous! Don't sell alcohol. Stop people from arriving into Vancouver. Stop the Skytrain from running. Block the roads. Don't allow planes to land. Hire thousands more police. Get water canons. Rubber bullets. Real bullets! Close liquor stores. Close Red Bull stores. Build more community centers. Start Riot Education Programs in Kindergarten. Give them free hot dogs and cocoa. What else?

Whatever they do, while we wait for whatever consequences are going to happen. We still see those violent images of the event in progress.  Fires, fights, looting, cars afire, fires in buidings, cars tipped over, window smashing, robbing, brazen youth taunting, even fighting with police, drunks drunks drunks etc etc etc.

This is what I see which leads to my solution - - -
I watched on TV as lines of policemen with helmets and face shields, Billy clubs and plexiglass body shields stood in their line and only watched as rowdy youth threw beer cans, junk, sticks and stones and even wooden pallets at them. Occassionally a policeman would lash out with his Billy club and swipe at the THIGHS of the attacker.
How nice of our police to be so gentle with rioters.

I thought at the time that if I was a policeman in that line, I would only last ONE riot and probably be fired. I wanted to see the police go right after the taunter, smack him with the Billy club IN THE HEAD! Send him down and out, full of blood, and then cuff him right there, legs and hands. Throw him in jail and conveniently forget about him for say, 96 hours. I KNOW they cannot legally do that. So bite me! You cannot legally riot either!

Did you know what Krazy Glue was invented for in Japan? The Japanese police would collar a rioter, put the glue on both palms, pull him around a lamp pole, slap his hands together and leave him there, to be picked up later! Now that is action.

Yes, I am aware of the lawsuit idea against the police. In many cases sponsored by an indignant daddy's money! Not MY son, they say! But if the people who are charged take months to come to court, then let the perps who think they're mistreated sue us and then WE make sure THOSE cases go on the back burner for years. Decades.

If the police are going to stand and take it, then they will suffer the results, which translates to the law abiding people of Vancouver. A riot situation is serious and requires extreme action with dire consequences. Jim Chu said they couldn't act because innocent people were standing around watching? What? Would they do that in Bagdad or Kabul? If you are innocent get the hell out of there or face the results!

I do believe that while I watched our Gentlemen Police Force in action (if action is the correct word) others with an interest in the potential 'fun' of rioting watched also, saw the feeble efforts of our police and decided to go with the flow. And those images are having a lasting effect that you CAN riot and nothing much will happen.

Too bad it is coming true, but Gentleman Jim Chu, needs to put his job on the line and become Genghis Jim Chu.
No fighting, no burning, no taunting, no shit or you get what's coming to you.

It is sad to say, but yes, add this to the gang killings on our streets every month,  and Vancouver is becoming a lawless city.

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Good morning .... in 5 seconds.

Good Morning America viewers should never have been allowed to see Nicki Minaj's exposed nipple, an enraged campaign group has argued. The singer suffered the 'wardrobe malfunction' while performing as part of the US breakfast TV show's Summer Concert Series on Friday, August 5. The incident has already become a big hit on YouTube, although full clips of the exposure are routinely being taken down by the video sharing site. (don't go looking, it's not the point of this article)

However, the Parents Television Council has argued that the racy footage (their words) should never even have made it to air, as the program could have used a five-second delay to prevent such problems.

Hmm. I wonder how many children are actually watching or paying attention to their mother's choice of morning TV shows? Do four-year-olds tune in to Regis and the grotesquely skinny Kelly for morning chatter? Six-year-olds to Good Morning America? Other breakfast news shows?
Whatever happened to TelaTubbies?  Ninja Turtles? Winnie the Pooh? Donald Duck has paraded around in front of children for decades without any pants on! Where is the Parents Television Council on that one?
Did Janet Jackson really offend anyone with her flash at a Superbowl game? Does someone on the PTC actually WATCH the NFL or did someone tell them later to be offended? Does anyone on this Parents Television Council ever go to MTV and see the daily T&A show there? Or to the National Gallery of virtually any country?

Hmm again. I wonder how many of these offended people are in the rallying crowd defending a woman's right to breast feed her child at the mall or anywhere anytime? And yelling that breasts are NOT sexual. It seems to me that 'racy' footage is what is supposed to be racy,  like Red Shoe Diaries, not a simple slip during a quaking musical performance.
Too bad there are so many people who find the live human body so offensive but don't mind watching the dead ones in morning news war footage, oblivious to the impact on their children.


Methinks that Nicki Minaj and her nipple would go right past the attention of a preschool child, and other modern children, the demographic of her fans, would just ignore it anyway. Maybe the PTC needs to concentrate on childrens' beauty pageants instead? Now there is something disgusting!
But then if you can't find enough to complain about, you're unlikely to get more money for more complaints. Councils need to perpetuate themselves, don't they?
And in those 5 seconds, Nicki got 5 miles of publicity!


Meanwhile, here's a few lines from the Supergirl of Hip Hop:

I remember when I couldn't buy my mother a couch
Now I'm sittin' at the closin' bought my mother a house
You could never understand why I grind like I do .....

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The Divine Miss M

Lady Gaga, who some say has doubtful talent, steals Bette Midler's wheelchair routine?

She already copied Madonna's Express Yourself with her Born this Way. She can't seem to meat up with any originality! After leaking the lyrics on her Twitter account, Gaga debuted the single. And while 'Born This Way' remained a trending topic on Twitter all that morning – another began trending as well: 'Express Yourself,' as in Madonna's 1989 Top 10 hit. By late morning, 'Express Yourself' had become more popular than 'Born This Way' on Twitter, with fans and foes alike comparing the songs.] You can watch the Madonna hit here - http://caterwauls.ca/MadonnaPage.htm

So now Lady Gaga has arrived on stage in Sydney, Australia in a wheelchair ala Grammy winner Midler. Did she think she was far enough away that no one would notice? But we all know the Divine Miss M has her own original style, and some would think that her wheelchair routine as mermaid Delores Delago should be untouchable as a signature character!

There was plenty of controversy to go around after Lady Gaga's show in Sydney. Aussies threw eggs at the singer (sic) as she left a bar, (perhaps they thought she was wearing ham?) and activists were enraged when she came onstage in a wheelchair dressed as a mermaid character. ? Is there a 'Legs for Mermaids' movement somewhere? Only in OZ.
It is interesting to note that the first mermaids, spied by starved sailors at sea, were actually dugongs!

Midler, our Lady of the Perpetual Smile, was critical of the Gaga at first, tweeting the message that she had been performing her mermaid character since 1980 - ‘You can keep the meat dress and the firecracker tits - mermaid's mine'.
Then being the classy Babe she is, said it was okay.

Did Lady Gaga think 1999 and 1980 were so far in the distant past for people to remember the originals? Hmm. I suppose her fans weren't born yet so what would they know?

What's next? Maybe she needs to go back further, no one would remember Judy Garland's Over the Rainbow. (1939) Would she do it dressed as the Tin Man, not knowing anything about the original. If that isn't a signature song I don't know what is.

Alas, maybe it is time for me to move on, I just remember too much.

One thing she cannot steal, The Divine Miss M's routine, 'Pretty Legs and Great Big Knockers'  fans have been going gaga over that for a long time. And the Lady is unfortunately missing in those attributes.

Pretty legs and great big knockers will always be Bette Midler!
You can't steal that kind of talent.


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Wife arrested - penis in garbage disposal

In Garden Grove, California, a wife (allegedly) fed her husband drugged food, tied him naked to a bed, cut off his penis and threw it into the garbage disposal! My gawd, haven't they heard of a safe word? Everyone involved in kink knows that. The police found him bleeding profusely, still tied. And most likely crying.
This woman had a powerful hate on for her estranged husband. And kitchen knives are usually dull. Go look at your butter knife!

At least Lorena Bobbitt just tossed it out the car window. In that case the police went searching along Lorena's route and found it, lying there all innocent and meek having been nearly run over by a cement truck, crows on the overhead wires looking down. They asked one lady if she had seen a penis and she said yes, she had, her uncle's in the shower when she was nine.
They reattached that one.

In this case they didn't say whether a plumber was called to open the sink trap. But they might not have been able to distinguish the remains from the rutabaga she had peeled earlier.
They allege Catherine Kieu Becker drugged the meal and served it to her estranged husband shortly before the attack.
The 51-year-old man felt sick, went to lie down and lost consciousness. The victim's arms and legs were tied to the bed with rope, (not silk rope either)  his clothes removed and he was attacked with the kitchen knife as he awoke. All that holding and sawing, of course he awoke! They said he was conscious when his penis was removed. Like really. Would he doze off?
It was tossed into the running garbage disposal. No thoughts whatsoever of the recycle bin.

You men stop shuddering like that! And you women stop chuckling! It used to be the wife took us for the house, the car and the children, but this? I now cringe when my wife throws a rotton old banana into the disposal.

Ms Becker may be charged with - aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse. Bail was set at $1 million. Is that all?
When contacted the victim only said. "This is a private matter." 
Well it is not private at all, there is now post-traumatic-stress among husbands everywhere thinking of their own treasured privates!
My wife just made cookies. Chocolate chip, my favorite, good stuff, but now I have to call her into the room, have her stand there in front of me and look into her eyes as I eat one! Watching for any sign of deceit or subterfuge ...... or sparkle. I thought of getting a witness but then I'd have to share the cookies.
Our relationship is strained at the moment because she caught me switching dinner plates. I have PTSD already.

Lorena Bobbitt claimed years of sexual abuse drove her to the attack, and she was acquitted by reason of insanity. Who knows what defense Catherine Kieu Becker's lawyers will choose, the Extrapolated Penis Envy defense? Kink gone Krazy defense? Weiner Rage defense? Not sure but we need to keep this quiet. No sense giving women ideas. You have no idea how many females grinned with empathy for Lorena Bobbitt.

But starting right now I will only eat my wife's cookies in a crowded public place with my phone on speed dial to an ambulance.
Private matter indeed.
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USA Construction vs Canada Construction

Today the Mayor of Los Angeles announced that the 405 Freeway, which was dubbed Carmageddon would reopen at noon, 17 hours early.
Mayor Villaraigosa said the 53-hour timetable for the project was agreed upon by contractors, transportation and public safety officials.  He thanked Los Angeles residents for heeding public officials’ calls to stay off area freeways.
The shortened closure "goes to show what we all can do when we get together for a common cause," Villaraigosa said, “A lot of people in Los Angeles have learned you can get along without taking long rides in your car on the weekend, we avoided a traffic nightmare.”
No major incidents were reported during the closure of the 10-mile stretch of freeway.
Villaraigosa credited contractors with completing work ahead of schedule. By finishing early, the project was saved the $700,000 cost of an added 12-hour shift, the mayor said.
Of that money, $300,000 was promised to contractors as an incentive to finish early. There was also a powerful disincentive for contractors to delay: Had they finished late, they would have been docked $6,000 every 10 minutes for each side of the freeway that was still closed.
Folks, the American contractors moved in at Midnight Friday to do this job which entailed tearing down overpasses and widening and repaving the whole highway! 

Hmm. In Canada they would have announced on Monday that the freeway might remain closed for the foreseeable future, due to coffee breaks, holiday scheduling, bickering between municipalities, and that Joe the foreman lost his hard hat and can't find it. Possible completion would likely be set for Christmas shopping or Easter of 2013 er, 2015.
Further complications might be added because of non Christian groups protesting the Christmas and Easter dates being used.
And the cost over-runs would have amounted to a third billion dollars being added to taxpayers property assessments to go along with the user fees which would have already risen from the 25 dollars per mile because of wage demands of the toll takers and the cost of the special photo radar camera transponders needed to keep track of drivers and their speeds.
The Canadian contractors would be rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of having construction work well into the decade and would have set up extra billing departments to keep the Government cheques coming in, anticipating penalties against the cities for late payments at a cost of 10,000 dollars per hour.
When and if the freeway finally opened again, there would be stretches where work was still going on or parts that needed repair because of uneven paving or potholes or heavy equipment still parked in traffic lanes. There would be one particularly bad bump where they had paved over Foreman Joe's hard hat.
Police would be disappointed in their take because speeds over 22 miles per hour, (35.40557 Kilograms per hour for our American friends) were impossible to attain.
Translink would announce a rethink of the design from blacktop to concrete to plastic, all of which would cost taxpayers at least one more room of their houses.
And the new mayors would all deny any responsibility for the catastrophe, since dubbed Apocarlypse Now. 

Americans know how to do stuff.
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Go Canucks ... Gone?

They lost. Terrible disappointment. Riots in the city. Depression all around.
The Vancouver Canucks lost in the final game of the final series of the Stanley Cup playoffs.





Only one thing to do .....

Start cheering for the Toronto Maple Leafs, they will NEVER lose in the Stanley Cup finals!

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Psychological hockey

Well the 'hit' changed a lot of things. It woke up the Bruins. It changed Aaron Rome's reputation. It remains an example of the North American style of play; If you have your head down you are fair game for a death blow. This is inbred into some Canadian and American players from Junior days. Like a macho thing to show that hockey players are tough. It is the remnants of the old style brutal game of intimidation where the hit in the corner has nothing to do with getting the puck. Sort of like the mentality of a pickup truck driver that thinks running you down in the street because you're not in the crosswalk is legal.

The 'hit' could have caused a psychological turning point and we mightn't win another game. But, at the same time, the humiliation of the Canucks by the Bruins could be a counter for the hit. Head game against head game. In a negative way. So it could be that all things are now equal again.
But I still have a bad feeling that we are done because the Canucks have an inability to inflict equal damage.  We just haven't had to play that way. Probably a result of the schedule inbreeding. One reason for this foreboding sense is that if there is a repeat of a goalie shelling, and the Canucks are being overwhelmed, Vignault will wait until the game is out of reach to pull Roberto Luongo.

I am one who has criticised Luongo since day one, deeming him a good goalie at best, However, in the first two games against Boston Luongo played his best ever as a Canuck. I am not sure he can reach that high again. Tim Thomas is the leagues best goalie. Roberto is not even close. By the way, it seems to me that there was a rule once that goalies cannot check because of their equipment. So wasn't that a penalty? Thomas was leaving the puck to hurt a Sedin. Shouldn't the NHL clarify if goalies can check? And if so can we check them back?

I hate to say it but I think the series is over because the Bruins have cross-checking, slashing, fighting etc as part of their Eastern game and the refs accept it. The Broad Street Bullies in Boston. Most of the eastern teams play this old game.
Since the Swedes and Czechs and Finns brought their hockey skills to the NHL, the old Don Cherry style rock 'en sock 'em hockey has been losing. Now it seems we might be headed for a return to that brutal game.
It basically depends on what NBC wants to promote. They will dictate their needs. And a skill game of speed and beauty will not draw viewers like MMA on ice will. Blood trumps stick handling. The Sedins are targets now and to protect them we would just get our players thrown out. The conspiracy theory deepens.

Just watch the cross checks with intent to injure around the Bruins' net, with the ref watching every one. Gretsky had Semenko and McSorley. Jean Belliveau had John Fergusen. Crosby had Georges Laraque. We even had Donald Brashear and Gino Odjig.
Boston has purposely worked in this direction, as GM Peter Chiarelli admits here -
Bruins embrace tough guy image

The trend after this series will be to go back to the old style clutch and grab rasslin hockey of the 70s and each team will once again have a resident goon to protect the stars. If Crosby got the abuse that the Sedins get the opposing players would all be constantly penalized. Or beaten. Not so in these games. The league is after the head shots but losing sight of the rest of the brutality of the game.

I was hoping hockey was going in the right direction to show off the speed, skill and finesse but I think not. I think the psychology of the game is regressing.

I wonder if Dave Semenko is available? Can you imagine the line? Sedin - Sedin - Semenko.
Reprisal on ice.

Go Canucks go anyway.
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This Boston Bruins Fan is GREAT!